NBA Star Dwyane Wade: A World Champion Dad!

The NBA Finals are heating up as the Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks square off in a rematch of the 2006 Finals. I’m a Miami resident so I’m kinda biased as to who I’d like to win the series. But as a basketball fan, I just like to see two dynamic teams with talented players display their talents to a worldwide audience. Miami boasts its Big 3 – Dwyane Wade, Lebron James and Chris Bosh, while Dallas boasts Dirk Nowitski, Jason Kidd, Jason Terry and a deep, well-balanced team.

Wade, the shooting guard for the Heat, is a perennial all-star. This is his 8^th season. He’s performed at a high level since he first entered the league out of Marquette. He led Miami from a 2-0 deficit in the 2006 Finals to win 4 games in a row and win the championship, being named the Most Valuable Player (MVP) in the process. The world got to see what we in Miami have known for quite some time – Dwyane Wade is a superb player.

Now here is where you ask the question – what does this have to do with The Upbeat Dad? As Paul Harvey might say, “Here’s the rest of the story.” Wade is undoubtedly one of the top 5 players in the NBA. Yet, if you follow him closely, you’d learn that, more than loving his work as a professional athlete, he loves being a dad. How do I know? Read on.

Last November, in the post NBA Star Dwyane Wade’s Got His Priorities Straight , I shared how I admire the fact that, though he’s a superstar athlete, his role as a father seemed to be a greater priority to him. At the time, he was in the midst of a legal battle with his former wife for custody of their two young boys. For a professional athlete who has so much going on, the fact that he’d even consider undertaking such a pursuit is to be admired.

On Wade’s Twitter account, his bio simply states, “I’m a father first and everything else after that.” As you might see as you read this, on our blog, with well over 30,000 hits so far, that post is by far our most read to date. How did that happen? Well, after I wrote it, it seemed to be quite popular among our readers. Then I thought to send it out to Wade himself. He not only read it, but he replied saying thanks and then he retweeted the post. That means he sent it out to all his Twitter followers – currently well over a million people. That was a wonderful and much appreciated gesture on his part. Even more wonderful, is what has occurred since then.

In March 2011, in the heart of the basketball season, Wade was awarded full custody of his sons. And he didn’t miss a beat. They came to live with him from his native Chicago and he put all the pieces in place for them to have a smooth transition to living with him in Florida. Understandably, he travels quite a bit, leading the team into the playoffs and now, to the brink of a championship. But still, he’s not the stereotypical deadbeat absentee dad that athletes are sometimes perceived to be. He’s developed a system whereby his boys are in a loving, stable environment while he continues to pursue his career goals.

Now, here’s the highlight of this post. During the Finals, each of the stars of the Heat and Mavericks recorded a brief video with them holding the Larry Obrien championship trophy and saying what winning a championship means to them. In game 3, Wade’s video aired and when I saw it, I quickly grabbed my Blackberry and emailed his quote to myself – it was that special. Here’s what he said, “It's the best feeling besides seeing my sons born.” With all eyes of the basketball world watching, he let everyone know that even greater than being a champion athlete is being a champion dad. And because of his track record, it’s clearly evident that those aren’t simply words to him – it’s a portrayal of his life as a father.

So often we read of stories of absentee dads. So often we learn of African American athletes who are sued for not paying child support. Yet, here is one who consistently performs at a high level and is in full demand for interviews, endorsement deals and so many other things. But through it all, his kids are his primary focus. For a celebrity who lives in the limelight to embrace such a philosophy is really something to admire.

As a Heat fan, of course I’d like to see them win the championship. But particularly so because Dwyane Wade has chosen to “be a father first and everything else after that” – even if “everything else” includes multiple NBA championships. Being a dad is that important.

I hope that in your own life, you would learn from his example. Whether or not you’re a basketball fan, I trust that you learn the life lesson embedded within this post. In the grand scheme of things, it’s irrelevant if the Heat or the Mavericks win the championship. What matters is that our priorities are straight – our kids come first. We each have our responsibilities – in and out of the home. But as parents, if we place our kids first and “everything else after that” the rewards for them and for us can be greater than we might imagine. We can impact the world for generations to come.

So, regardless of who you’d like to see win the series, please join me in celebrating Dwyane Wade’s pursuit to be a champion dad!

Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

A Lesson from the Miami Heat’s Struggles for Families

Tonight my Miami Heat lost to the Portland Trailblazers. It was their 5^th consecutive loss – with 3 of them coming in front of a national television audience. Their slump is quite untimely as it comes at the most critical time of the NBA season, when teams are jockeying for playoff position. As a fan, it’s quite disappointing to see what’s happening – our super team appears to be falling apart at the seams.

The season isn’t over yet – there’s still time to get the ship going in the right direction. But for now, it seems like we’ve got a long road ahead. The championship hopes that we Heat fans had coming into the season appears to be more of a figment of our imagination than anything.

“What does this have to do with the Upbeat Dad?” you might ask. Read on - you'll see in a moment. Last summer at the height of the free agency period, the team was on cloud 9 as free agents Lebron James and Chris Bosh signed with the team to join Dwyane Wade to form a super team – the dynamic trio, if you will. Wade and James are arguably 2 of the top 3 or 4 players in the league and Bosh is possibly in the top 10 or 15. So there was little doubt to analysts that this team was going to simply come together and dominate.

Reality has revealed something quite contrary to the expectations of many. The rest of the league took notice of their premature celebration in Miami this summer when Bosh and James signed. And since then, the Heat has been a marked team – villains, of sorts. It is still quite possible that the dynamic trio will win the many championships that they came together to win. But it’s clearly going to take much more effort than they originally thought.

Now here’s what this has to do with The Upbeat Dad. Every day, all over the world, people get together to start relationships. Some end up at the altar in marriage. Some produce children. But whatever results, people enter relationships to live happily ever after.

But then comes reality – living together, paying bills, dealing with each others’ moods, raising kids and just living the day to day life. “Happily ever after” is not how many of these stories turn out. It takes much hard work to make these relationships successful.

Fortunately, many couples are able to work through the kinks, for lack of a better term, and are able to make a beautiful life together. They have kids and do live happily ever after. Others are able to work out their differences with the help of family and friends or professionals, such as marriage counselors. Then others, despite their best efforts, are not able to reconcile their differences. These relationships end in disappointment. And especially when kids are involved, it can be quite challenging.

Sometimes what we see in reality is quite different from what we envision. Still, because we want to succeed in our relationships, I think we should look to make the best of each situation that arises. It would be quite hasty if the Heat should look to trade James or Bosh or even Wade during their first season together, just because it’s taking them some time to develop the championship form that’s expected.

In like manner, it would be quite hasty to get into a marriage and then decide to throw in the towel because the reality of being in the relationship isn’t quite as simple as originally thought. Particularly when kids are involved, I think our relationships are worth fighting for. We don’t quit simply because we’re faced with adversity. Instead we should face the adversity head on and make the best of the situation.

I hope that you’re able to draw a parallel between the simple sport of basketball and the real life situations that we all deal with each day. Who knows just what the Miami Heat will accomplish with their three stars? They’re working out the kinks as best as they can. That’s their work to do.

In our homes we have much more control. We can make the changes necessary to make our relationships work. We can change the ways that we react to the difficult situations that arise at times. We can change our approach to resolving conflict. We can work together to raise our kids to become happy, well-adjusted young people.

Let this post encourage you to do what you need to do to ensure that things in your home are what they ought to be.  And when all is said and done, you’ll raise a family of champions.

All the best to you and yours.

The Upbeat Dad

Major Milestone and Year In Review!

Well, well, well. Today is December 31. Ready or not, here comes 2011. This coming new year holds so many promises to each of us. As we prepare to welcome 2011, I thought I’d take today’s post to reflect on how far we’ve come since we launched The Upbeat Dad.

On Monday, October 4, 2010, I introduced this blog to the world with the post The Official Launch of The Upbeat Dad. As I mentioned on The Story Behind the Upbeat Dad, the vision has been years in the making. But I strongly felt that the timing was right to launch this project.

Here we are, just under 3 months later. And oh, what a ride it’s been! I set a dream goal of 3,000 pageviews worldwide by December 31. That milestone was passed well over a month ago. And yesterday, we hit the 5,000 pageviews milestone - yes, 5,000! What an accomplishment! I could tell you the different things I’ve done to reach this milestone but quite frankly, the credit goes to you for tuning in on a daily basis. I try to touch on different areas in my posts each day but without you, it wouldn’t be possible, so I thank you.

We have established a worldwide following. As I’ve said before, we have readers on every continent except Antarctica! Here is a list, in order of number of pageviews, of our top 10 countries: United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Jamaica, Croatia, Japan, Russia, India, Germany, Australia.

Here's a highlight of some of our accomplishments thus far:

1. In mid-November, I wrote a post entitled NBA Star Dwyane Wade's Got His Priorities Straight. In that post I shared how Wade prioritized being a loving father to his two boys. I later wrote the post A Big Boost from NBA Star Dwyane Wade to share the story about how I sent the article to Wade and he replied saying, “Thanks for noticing” and then he sent it to over 700,000 people who follow him on Twitter.

That kind act on his part brought hundreds of new readers to the blog over just the next few hours. Still, to this day, that article is the most read of any post I’ve written. We have readers who tune in on a daily basis because this article brought them to the blog and they like what they've seen so they come back often. Kudos to my fellow Miami resident, D. Wade for that!

2. In November, we launched a weekly feature called Upbeat Dad of the Week. In this feature, we highlight fathers who have demonstrated that they are exceptional dads. Here is a list of all the features we have done in this series thus far:

• Inaugural Upbeat Dad of the Week Spotlight
• Upbeat Dad of the Week: Melvin Thompson
• Upbeat Dad of the Week: Your Dad
• Upbeat Dad of the Week: Edward Rapier

3. With the holiday season approaching, we did a two-day post about drunk driving and its effects. Our post Put Down That Drink, Aren’t You Driving Home? highlights the general impact of drunk driving. The next day, our post Person of the Week: Myra McRoy Constable  told the story of a lady who became a young widow after her husband died in a single car collision after a night of drinking. This post is quite popular. To date, it’s our 3^rd most read article.

4. In posts such as When Good Fathers Go Bad and Cats in the Cradle: A Life Lesson for Working Parents I implore fathers to ensure they prioritize time with their children, especially when marriages and other relationships end.

5. I visited the city of New Orleans just after Thanksgiving and wrote the post Profound Lesson for the Divorced From New Orleans Visit. In that post I wrote about how the city rose to its feet after the disaster of Hurricane Katrina. Then I shared how the divorced can make a comeback after going through their own catastrophe. That post is quite popular among our readers as it is one of our most read posts to date.

6. When Elizabeth Edwards, wife of former presidential candidate, John Edwards, passed away, I wrote A Tribute to Elizabeth Edwards: A Lasting Legacy. That post seems to have struck a chord with our readers. It's the 4th most read of our posts.

So that’s a bit of what we’ve been up to these past few months. What an exciting journey it’s been! I try to do a post each day so that there's always something fresh and new. Beginning  this coming Monday, January 3, I will preview where we’re going in 2011. I have a great vision so I invite you to remain engaged with us.

As always, our Facebook page is a way to make the experience interactive. If you haven’t already done so, please visit the page and if you like what you see, “Like” it so you can follow our posts.

Also, we are quite active on Twitter so I encourage you to follow us. We constantly send out messages that we think will help families to become closer. And as with our Facebook page, it makes our experience interactive.

I hope that you ring in the New Year with a great, safe celebration. I wish you and your family the very best for a prosperous and successful 2011.

The best is yet to come. See you next year!

The Upbeat Dad

A Big Boost from NBA Star Dwyane Wade!

Yesterday was one of those magical days where things all seem to come together!

On Wednesday of this week, I wrote and posted on the blog an article entitled NBA Star Dwyane Wade's Got His Priorities Straight. In that article I shared my admiration for Wade and his role as a father.

I live in Miami and let's just say Wade owns the town - some actually call Miami-Dade county Miami-Wade county! Since I'm local, I hear about much of what occurs in his personal and professional life.

He recently went through a divorce but remains as close as ever to his two sons. On his Twitter account under his bio it says, "...I'm a father first and everything else after that."

The fact that the article was about him didn't go unnoticed by our readers. It was one of the most read posts in our brief history. Well, this next point is simply magical!

I thought that I would send the article via Twitter to Wade to let him know that I recognize him as an Upbeat Dad. I did so yesterday morning and what ensued is more than I could possibly ask for!

Wade not only responded saying thanks for noticing that he has his priorities straight but he sent the article to all his followers on Twitter - over 700,000! That was a very humbling gesture for me - that he not only acknowledged the admiration but that he shared it with his Twitter fans.

Since he shared the article yesterday, the Upbeat Dad blog has had more hits than at any point since we launched October 1! That article is now by far the most read of all those that I have written. People from all over the world - in the hundreds per hour, have been reading!

This is quite gratifying to a writer who is simply seeking to impact the world in a positive way. 9 years ago at this very point in the year, I was at the beginning stages of the worst personal crisis of my life - my divorce and custody battle for our 3 year old daughter. The divorce was finalized in July 2002 but the custody issue went on for close to a year after that.

That chapter of my life closed with my daughter virtually unscathed. She's loved by both her parents and today she's a well adjusted 12 year old. And as an honor roll student, she has a great future ahead!

But I vowed after my experience to establish an organization to encourage fathers to lovingly care for their children regardless of the circumstances that arise. I got a harsh dose of reality when I saw what occurs to many families in the family law system. Children are often the collateral damage when a happy home becomes a broken home.

Today, I'm happily remarried with a newborn son. And my daughter lives with my wife and me while she remains close to her mom. Things have turned out just fine. My mission through this blog is to help create more stories with happy endings - for the children, in particular!

If you're a new reader to our blog, I welcome you and encourage you to become engaged in our conversation. Do post your comments on the blog and on our Facebook page. Also follow us on Twitter.

Come back soon and come back often! There's always something positive, refreshing and new going on here!

For a bit more information on the mission of The Upbeat Dad, read our posts The Story Behind The Upbeat Dad, Looking for a Few Good Men and A Sneak Preview of Where We're Going. I also encourage you to nominate your dad or any dad who you believe we should recognize in our weekly feature, Upbeat Dad of the Week.

I'm so appreciative of Dwyane Wade's gesture yesterday. With this increased readership, we have a greater potential to impact the world with the message that "The Upbeat Dad is for all who believe in the positive influence fathers can have on kids!"

Have a good weekend! And if you have children, try to do something fun with them! They'll love and appreciate you even more!

The Upbeat Dad

NBA Star Dwyane Wade’s Got His Priorities Straight!

Dwyane Wade

Miami Heat basketball superstar, Dwyane Wade, is easily one of the top 5 players in the National Basketball Association. The shooting guard is electrifying as he displays his skills each time he steps on the basketball court. He led the Heat to the 2006 NBA championship, being named Finals Most Valuable Player (MVP) in the process. He’s well on the way to becoming a first-ballot Hall of Fame inductee.

This season he has teamed up with two time league MVP Lebron James and Chris Bosh to form, what they believe will be a dynasty in South Beach. As a Miami resident, needless to say, I’m a huge fan and I do hope what they envision becomes reality!

Ok then, here’s where you say, “What on earth does all this have to do with The Upbeat Dad?” Well, I’m glad you asked! I also follow Wade on Twitter. And I noted something quite significant. Most athletes and other celebrities, in the brief bio/description on their Twitter accounts speak of their talents or other accomplishments. But not Wade –his simply states, “From Robbins, IL..I'm a father first and everything else after that...”

When I read this, I had to do a double take. Did this basketball icon just say that? In a league where many of the athletes are notoriously womanizers with multiple kids from different women and are absent in the kids’ lives, did he really say that? This was really a breath of fresh air to see.

You might be aware that Wade recently went through a messy divorce – one that became final this summer. No doubt, it took its toll on him. With his busy schedule, he has had to incorporate court appearances for his divorce and also for some other legal issues having to do with business deals gone bad.  Yet, he has remained focused on crafting his gift as an athlete and the special gift of his children.

I wrote in one of my poems:

Parenthood is forever

A spouse come and go

It’s a bond you cannot sever

It’s one law nature knows.

Dwyane Wade and his sons

Wade’s marriage produced two boys. The divorce has been finalized but the custody battle is just heating up. Yet, when all is said and done, Wade and his former wife will remain parents of these two young sons – who both need the love and care that their mother and father can give. Sure divorce can get messy – I know that from personal experience. But when the dust settles and the marriage is over, the children remain.

I speak of this matter, not endorsing custody of the children to Wade or his former wife. Rather, I’m saying that the kids need both parents and for Wade to even seek custody of them is commendable. How often have we heard of athletes who have to almost be dragged into court so that they would pay child support for their kids who they hardly know? Even this summer, I heard an interview with a New York Jets player who has multiple children with different women and he literally could not name all of his kids. How frightening!

Whether or not you’re a Miami Heat fan, if you support the mission of The Upbeat Dad – which is to believe in the positive influence that fathers can have on kids’ lives – I hope you would respect Dwyane Wade’s commitment to his sons. He’s recognized that his marriage is over but he does not want his boys to become isolated – without the continued love and support of their father. Both parents have a role to fulfill and I respect him for choosing to be “a father first and everything else after that.”

Have a great and upbeat day!

The Upbeat Dad