Upbeat Dad of the Week: Chris Lewis

One of the thrills of my life recently has been getting to know other dads and moms in the world of blogging. It’s really a privilege to know those whom I call the ground soldiers in the campaign to develop strong families and to help our kids to become productive members of our society.

Today’s Upbeat Dad of the Week is a man whom I’ve had the privilege of getting to know – though from a distance. But through our interaction in cyberspace as well as on a few phone conversations, I know that he’s a man who all young men should emulate and who we should all look up to. He’s making a real difference in the lives of many. I’m pleased to say that our Upbeat Dad of the Week is Chris Lewis.

As I mentioned, I met Chris in the world of blogging. His blog is Dad of Divas. Kinda original, don’t you think? As we have interacted over the past several months, I have been drawn to his message and his vision. You see, like me, he understands the very important role that fathers play in the lives of children.

His mission is two-fold: to share his perspectives of fatherhood and also to highlight other fathers who are making a difference in the lives of their kids and others. You’ll read later on just how he highlights these fathers. I share this now to say that we share a similar vision. The Upbeat Dad of the Week feature is consistent with his mission to highlight dads making a difference.

Chris is a native of Michigan. He and his family live just outside of Lansing. In the world of blogging, he’s simply Chris of Dad of Divas. In his other life, he’s Dr. Chris Lewis, a Student Affairs professional who has been working in the field of College Administration for 14 years. He has extensive experience in precollege planning, admission, advising, and other areas. He mentors and guides students as they prepare to enter the world to make their mark.

In his personal life, he’s a loving husband. He and his wife have 2 daughters – divas, if you will. They are now 6 and 3 years old. Chris grew up in a loving two-parent household as an only child. He knows the importance of the loving guidance of parents in the lives of children. He had a good example from his father about how to be a loving dad so the transition to fatherhood for him was somewhat smooth.

When his older daughter was just over 3 years old, he wanted to share his perspectives on fatherhood with others so he started a blog about this role of a lifetime. Before long, his other daughter was born and now his writing is about what it’s like as the father of two girls, hence the name Dad of Divas. On his blog, he not only writes about fatherhood, he also does book reviews on pro-family books.

Having been an only child, he now sees a different dynamic in his kids that he didn’t see growing up. Having to share with a sibling is something he never had to do. Neither did he ever find himself competing with another sibling for his parent’s attention or affection since he was the only child. Through his experience, he has grown in wisdom, as he understands how to effectively raise his girls, while making each feel special.



He says, “Being a dad is hard but rewarding work and having two kids is an eye opener. As a father you need to be engaged. You need to be at your kids’ level so that you understand them but you also need to get them to the point where they understand you so that you can guide them to where they need to be.” Quite profound and so true.

Chris isn’t  a stereotypical father who stands back and lets his wife do all things related to the kids. He works hard in his daily vocation but when he is home, he is home. By that I mean, he is an active participant in the kids’ life and their activities.

For instance, his daughters are members of the Girl Scouts. Instead of simply dropping them off and picking them up when each session is over, he is actively involved in the organization as a co-leader. As you might imagine, there’s no other father performing this role at these sessions with him. Still, to him, it’s the thrill of a lifetime, as he teaches his girls and others about the life principles that are embraced by the Girl Scouts.

 

Chris with fellow blogger Chris Singer of Book Dads

One message that I constantly try to convey is that you show your kids you love them with one word: T-I-M-E. Chris embodies this philosophy. He’s an enthusiastic participant in anything and everything having to do with his kids – whether it’s at school programs or gymnastics events. At home, the family has movie nights or sometimes they just play Wii video games. The time both he and his wife invest in their girls’ lives today will yield a lifetime of dividends.

About one year ago, Chris decided that he wanted to feature other dads who are making a difference in the lives of their kids. He says, “You hear so much of the negative side of fatherhood in the media. I wanted to show the good examples of fatherhood that you don’t always read about.” So on his blog he started the Dads in the Limelight Series. Each week, he shares the stories of dads who are making a difference. Thus far, he has featured just over 100 dads.

In the US army, one of their slogans is, “Looking for a few good men.” Well, the Dads in the Limelight Series shows that there are more than a few good men who are making a positive impact in the lives of their kids and others. As I mentioned earlier in this post, this philosophy is very consistent with my idea to begin the Upbeat Dad of the Week feature. There are men who are making a difference and unfortunately what often makes the headlines is the negative side of the subject of fatherhood.

I’m pleased to know that both Chris and I share this philosophy. And I believe that through each of our efforts, as well as the efforts of others, the important role of fatherhood would be recognized and embraced by more people.

Chris with baseball legend Cal Ripken Jr.

Please join me in honoring Chris Lewis as our Upbeat Dad of the Week. He’s making a difference with his life - whether it is as a Student Affairs professional, helping to guide the future leaders of our world, or as a loving husband and father in the home. He lives by the words that I wrote in my poem A Lasting Legacy:

May I seek to serve my fellow man

And give of myself and do all that I can

May I love and give a helping hand

That’s the foundation on which I stand.

His is truly a life of service. It’s such an honor for me know someone like him. He’s not simply standing back and observing the world as it is; he’s an active participant in making it a better place.

If you’d like to nominate someone – anyone, including yourself – as our Upbeat Dad of the Week, please do so by emailing us at: info@theupbeatdad.com.

I hope that you’ve been inspired by this week’s feature. And I hope that it would help you to make your life a channel through which others’ lives are touched.

Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

Upbeat Dad of the Week: Nelson L. Moody Sr.

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Nelson L. Moody Sr. and his youngest 3 kids

It’s time for our Upbeat Dad of the Week! Because of our Upbeat Dad Community Forum, the past two weeks, we haven’t had this feature. Instead we featured special posts on our forum and the success that it was. If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to check out our detailed post – Special Edition: Upbeat Dad Community Forum Recap.

Let me also say that beginning in March, on the first Friday of each month, we will do a feature on a non-profit / charitable organization that embodies the ideals that we hold dear at The Upbeat Dad. We will share more about this new spotlight in the coming days. I mention this now to say that next week, we will debut that feature. Therefore, the next Upbeat Dad of the Week post will be done on Friday, March 11.

Today’s feature is really a “feel good” story after a situation that started out not so good. At The Upbeat Dad, we like to share posts that inspire people to rise above their circumstances, despite the challenges that they may face. Our dad this week is one such individual. So it gives me great pleasure to say that our Upbeat Dad of the Week is Nelson L. Moody Sr.

He was nominated as our featured dad in response to our open invitation every time we have such a spotlight. I got to know him only while doing the interview and research for this post. As I learned more about his journey, I thought that his personal testimony might encourage many who read our blog.

Nelson was born in Baltimore, Maryland to a single mother. He grew up in a loving home yet he had friends and family who had both parents in their lives, if not in the home together. He never met his father so there always seemed to be a void in his life. When he was 10 years old and began to think about his future, he promised himself that whenever he has children, no matter the circumstance, he would actively be present in their lives.

While in high school, he joined the United States army. Upon graduation he enlisted full-time and traveled around the US and the world on behalf of his country. He received numerous awards including The Army Achievement Medal on 2 different occasions. He was honorably discharged from the armed forces in 1986 after serving 6 years.

When he was 15 years old and still in high school, he decided that somehow he had to fill the void in his life and meet his father. He searched for 15 years – by different means, to find him. Finally, he got a lead from an aunt about how to finally meet the man who was absent for all of his life. On a Thursday, a meeting was scheduled for the following Tuesday. But on the Sunday before the meeting, his father died. So he finally did meet his father – but on the following Wednesday when he saw him in the funeral home. A lifelong quest had ended sadly but at least he did meet his goal.

Nelson is a security officer with Johns Hopkins Hospital in his hometown of Baltimore. He is the father of 5 children. He has been married twice but each of the marriages ended in divorce. Despite these divorces, he has remained close with each of his children. 

His first marriage ended in a way that often causes men to walk away in frustration with the family law system. He has 1 child from that marriage – a son. His former wife alleged that between the child’s birth and age 10, Nelson physically abused him. Despite the fact that there was no evidence to affirm the allegations, this caused him to have to fight for his right to be involved in his son’s life. The police department corroborates his story that there was no evidence to confirm that he was abusive.

Cover of Nelson's first book

While I write this, let me say quickly here that I do not know of the facts of the case. I’m relaying information to our readers. I know that there are multiple sides to every story. I do know, however, that false accusations of domestic violence and abuse are quite prevalent in family law cases. I wrote about that in yesterday’s post Domestic Violence and Its Impact on Families. In many cases, men who are accused have a presumption of guilt in the eyes of the court. I know this from multiple sources including individuals who work within the legal system.

The challenges of the situation frustrated Nelson immensely. He didn’t have the financial resources to hire an attorney to fight the allegations in court. So e represented himself. He had no legal training but considering that he didn’t have the resources to hire an attorney, his choices were to either walk away and lose contact with his son, or represent himself to the best of his ability.

A novice to the legal system, Mr. Moody went from The Circuit Court of Maryland in Baltimore City to The Supreme Court of The United States on behalf of his son. He says, “No one would listen. No one wanted to investigate the case or listen to my reasoning. The opposing side never gave me a run for my money or challenged anything that I presented to any court.”

With the challenges that he faced, Nelson was successful, in that, despite all the allegations, he maintained a relationship with his son. Today they are as close as ever. He says, “Justice is not justice unless you do something about the injustice.”

He decided to share his message with others in the form of writing. He has authored 4 books:
When A Judge Can't Judge;
When A Judge Can't Judge - Part Two (The Conclusion);
Men Are Loving, Caring, Parents, Too;
A Father's Self-Representation Hosea 4:6 (Eliminating the middleman-the attorney).

Cover of Nelson's 3rd book

The first two books are based on the court case. He has written a screen play based on the case as well. He also created the You Tube channel International Fathers, on which he shares videos on fatherhood.

One of the touching parts of his story is that his son who he was accused of abusing, now 26 years old, wrote the About The Author section of his last 2 books. When he told me that during our interview, I must say that a tear or two came to my eyes. That’s touching beyond belief.

He remains close to his other children as well. His youngest 3 children are from his 2^nd marriage. They are 9 year old twins and a 7 year old. He and his former wife share custody, with the kids spending most of the time with him.

When I asked him what message about fatherhood he wanted to share with our readers, he said, “Little children watch what big children do and say. Big children watch what adults do and say. Therefore, watch the example that you set.” There are no words to add to that profound statement; I couldn’t have said it better.

I hope that you have enjoyed learning about who I consider to be a great man, Mr. Nelson L. Moody Sr. So often you read about fathers who are missing from their children’s lives and their only excuse is that they didn’t grow up with a father so they don’t know how to be one. In other cases, you learn about fathers who get so frustrated with the legal system that they just give up and walk away – leaving their children more vulnerable than before.

So when I learn of stories such as Nelson L. Moody Sr’s, I’m encouraged to know that there are men who still care to impart their knowledge and wisdom into their kids’ lives. A friend of mine said to me, “Kid’s aren’t for keeps – they grow up and then they leave home. So you have to teach them the right thing when they are young.” Based on this statement alone, I believe that Nelson ought to be applauded for choosing to be a loving, caring father.

I encourage you to share this post with those you believe would benefit from it. I also encourage you to get any of his books that you believe would help yourself or others. Nelson turned his lemons into lemonade and now they can be someone's lifeline. It's all about sharing a positive message from a loving father. 

If you’d like to nominate someone for Upbeat Dad of the Week, please do so by sending an email to: info@theupbeatdad.com. You can nominate your father or other relative or friend. You can even nominate yourself. We love to highlight fathers who are active participants in their kids’ lives.

Enjoy your day today and every day.

The Upbeat Dad

 

Upbeat Dad of the Week: James Davis

James Davis and wife Mary

In many of our lives, there are certain individuals who have made such a positive impression on us that we owe the persons that we have become, in large part, to them. Some, by their example, have consistently demonstrated a willingness to serve others with their time and talents. Our featured father this week is such an individual. So it is with great pleasure that I say our Upbeat Dad of the Week is James Davis. Few individuals have impacted my life to the degree that he has. You will soon know why I hold this man is such high esteem. His is a remarkable life – one highlighted by a consistency of service to his fellow men.

James Davis is my uncle. He’s my mother’s older brother. If this post was being read by my family members only, I would refer to him as “Uncle James.” But since it’s being read worldwide, I’ll use “Mr. Davis.” I have known him for all of my life so most of the issues that I will share in this post, I have witnessed firsthand.

Mr. Davis was born and raised in the rural part of Jamaica. When he became an adult, he migrated to England, as did some of his siblings. He lived and worked in England for 8 years yet somehow he desired to leave the life that he was afforded there to return to Jamaica to be of service to his fellow countrymen. In the late 1960s, he did just that - he returned home. He married the love of his life, Mary (also called "Meg"), and settled in the parish of Manchester.

In Jamaica, he found the opportunity in which he could be best of service. Having been raised in a large family with two loving parents, he realized the importance of giving children the proper guidance and providing them with the best environment in which to succeed.

One of the issues that was quite prevalent in Jamaica at the time - and still exists today – was the fact that many children are raised without a father or father figure. And what often results is the stories that make headlines for the wrong reasons – i.e. crime, violence, etc. When positive father figures are present, children tend to make better choices and generally show more respect for authority.

The government of Jamaica started a home for boys in the district of Mt. Olivet, Manchester. Mr. Davis became the superintendent of this home in the early 1970s. The home functioned as a stable environment for boys, many of whom knew nothing but instability prior to their arrival. Ranging from age 7 to 18, many of these boys were orphans. Others had loving parents who were not able to provide for them financially.

As the chief administrator of the facility, Mr. Davis was given the task of creating the best environment for the boys to succeed. He hired the necessary staff and supervised their training to ensure that they were well equipped to shape and mold the lives of these boys. He had to ensure that for the years that each boy spent at the facility, they would leave equipped with the life skills they needed to help them pursue their dreams.

One of the guiding principles of Mr. Davis’ tenure at the home was that education is the key to success. He believed in the proverb that many of us were taught as we went through the education system in Jamaica: “Labor for learning before you grow old; for learning is better than silver and gold. Silver and gold will vanish away but a good education will never decay.”

He ensured that each boy at the home was given the best chance to succeed through education. Children learn in different ways; some need special attention in order for them to grasp the lessons taught to them. He was an integral part of the process to enable them to learn.

He was not only the chief administrator but he was also involved in the carrying out of the functions of the Boys Home. In addition to ensuring that the boys got a proper education, he also taught them skills such as farming and raising livestock. In the rural part of the country, those skills are of vital importance.

For many of these boys, “Mr. Davis” is the only father they have known. His was a labor of love as he treated the boys like they were an extended part of the family. One of my fondest childhood memories was going with my siblings to Mt. Olivet in the summer for weeks at a time. I recall “Uncle James” carrying out many of the roles that I am describing here. It seemed effortless to him but in fact, it takes a special level of dedication to care for the children of others like they were your own. 



James Davis' children - Orville, Janice and Cleon

Mr. Davis and his wife had 3 children, the oldest of whom was born exactly 4 weeks before I was. As a family, they served the community in different ways. His wife was a high school teacher. They both were leaders in the church and the community at-large.

In the Davis home, love and discipline were demonstrated on a daily basis. In many of our homes today, the dinner table discussion is a lost art form. For the most part, now we just grab our meals at our convenience and then jet off to do other tasks. Or perhaps we sit in front of the television and are entertained while we eat.

Not so in the Davis household. Even to this day when I go to their home in Jamaica to visit, breakfast, lunch and dinner are all family meeting times. There’s nothing to distract from the discussion – no television, radio or anything else. That way, there is necessarily a closer bond that is formed.

James Davis and son Cleon at graduation

For his children, education was vitally important. But more than that, service to others was strongly encouraged. As adults, each of them has contributed immensely to the well-being of others.

Their oldest, a son named Orville, was a youth minister in his church. He mentored and encouraged young people. The second, a daughter named Janice, is an educator. She is currently a teacher in Japan – where she teaches Japanese students how to read and write the English language. The youngest, a son named Cleon, is a doctor in Jamaica – an anesthesiologist. He serves others with his gifts through the medium of practicing medicine.

As is often the case when we learn about the lives of great people, Mr. Davis’ story has had a very difficult chapter. On Christmas Day 1998, Orville had traffic accident that claimed his life. That was a bitter pill to swallow for each of us in the family. It was particularly tough for a loving father to lose his firstborn child in such a tragic way. Orville was my closest cousin and best friend so his loss was very difficult for me to deal with as well. But today, over 12 years later, collectively as a family, we have come to accept that we cannot control certain occurrences in our lives – we can only do our best with the challenges life throws our way.

Mr. Davis served at the Boys Home for 20 years before leaving to become a church minister, continuing to be of service to others. Both he and his wife have since retired and reside the parish of Clarendon. They are actively involved in their community, still giving of themselves for the advancement of others.

With all the work that he has done throughout his working years, I believe that his legacy will most be defined by the work that he did at the Boys Home. The boys came to the home at the most vulnerable stage of life. Without his labor of love, many of them might not have become the successes that they are today. Most of them have gone on to successful vocations and have started families of their own. I consider myself a child advocate so as I reflect on the life of service that my uncle has given to these young lives, I have to applaud his efforts.

Rodrick in Jamaica with "Uncle James" and "Aunt Meg"

Please join me in recognizing Mr. James Davis as the Upbeat Dad of the Week. His life and example have left such as impression on me that I constantly think about how I, too, can serve others with my life. Many people look at the problems of the world today as simply spectators. But he has viewed the same problems and has dedicated himself to eradicating them. He has fathered 3 biological children but so many other children have become good citizens of this world today because he chose to father them. It is for this reason that I recognize him in this way.

As always, if there is anyone you would like to nominate as our Upbeat Dad of the Week, please do so by sending an email to info@theupbeatdad.com. We love to share stories of positive fathers and father figures for the ways in which they touch the lives of others.

James Davis is one who has so given to others that his legacy will live on perpetually. I know that my life has been changed by his example. I hope that your life will be as well. His commitment to selfless giving has endeared so many to him.

I hope that after reading about his life of service, you too will dedicate yourself to the well-being of others. Have a wonderful day.

James Davis with wife and children

The Upbeat Dad

Upbeat Dad of the Week: Chris Singer

Chris Singer and daughter Tessa

Every so often, we come across individuals seemingly by accident. But the more we get to know them, the more we realize it was no accident at all. It was on purpose. And that person’s life as it is displayed, causes us to believe in the genuine goodness of humanity in a new way. Today’s featured Upbeat Dad of the Week is one such individual. So let me say it gives me great honor to share with you the story of our Upbeat Dad of the Week is Chris Singer.

When I began the Upbeat Dad blog, one of the first things that became apparent to me was that there’s a whole world of fellow bloggers who have their own unique niche. In late September 2010, the day after I decided to start the blog, I saw a feature on CNN about “Dad bloggers” and I thought “How cool is that?” I was excited to know that there are other men like me who care enough to share their thoughts on fatherhood with others.

It was in this world of blogging fathers that I got to know Chris Singer. He runs the website Book Dads. On that site, he works with authors and book reviewers to publish reviews of children’s books. Here are his blog and other social media tools:

Blog: Stay at Home Dad in Lansing

Book Review site: Book Dads

Twitter: tessasdad and book_dads

Make sure you check these out after reading about Chris’ story. I think you’ll agree with me that he’s deserving of the recognition with this feature. Here’s a chronicle of his journey.

Chris grew up in a town in northeastern Pennsylvania. His childhood was marred with physical and emotional abuse of him in the home. That early experience caused him to suffer from anxiety and depression. He often contemplated just how he could escape from this daily reality. Though others, when faced with similar situations, turn to alcohol or drugs, Chris opted to use all of this negativity surrounding him to propel him to live a meaningful life.

He shared with me that two things kept him going. First, though he didn’t get the love and affection at home that every child needs, he had a close and loving relationship with his grandmother. So whenever he contemplated things such as drugs, alcohol, suicide or running away from home, he thought of how heartbroken his grandmother would be and that deterred him from acting on his thoughts.

Chris and Tessa

Secondly, he made a vow that if he could survive such a difficult childhood, he would dedicate his life to making a positive impact on others, particularly children. That was the motor that kept him going through all the challenges and difficulties. He says, “I told myself, if I can make it through this awful experience, I will help kids so that they don’t have to feel trapped and alone like me.”

He attended the State University of New York, where he got a Bachelors degree in Literature. As he contemplated how his life could be used to help others, he was drawn to the continent of Africa. He grew up in the United States, a place where wealth and privilege are often taken for granted. He saw widespread poverty in Africa. He saw orphaned children who seemed lost and lonely. Thinking back to his own childhood, he wanted to give of himself to them to relieve their suffering.

He knew that if he was to live his dream of impacting the lives of children around the world, if he was married, then his wife would need to share a similar vision. He had relationships throughout his life but none of them materialized beyond the dating phase.

Chris  and wife Deb

In early 2000, he joined an internet dating site. After sharing his information, he was shown the pictures of three women that the system suggested would be a match for him. He was drawn to a particular one of the three. Her name was Deb. What drew him to her was that in her profile, she was pictured in Africa surrounded by a group of kids. He later learned that that picture was taken in Namibia as she served in the Peace Corps. That captivated him – to the extent that he didn’t even contact the other two suggested women.

They met and really hit it off as they got to know each other. They share a similar vision of giving of themselves to help children around the world. Six years ago, their dream of spending their lives together became a reality as they got married. They settled in Michigan, Deb’s home state. Each of them had a vision of a life of selfless service to others and now as a team, they were ready to do it together.

Chris worked with a social services organization in Michigan. He worked closely with those known as “the lost boys of Sudan” – boys who lived in refugee camps after fleeing for their lives in that war torn African country. The boys came to the United States through a charitable program.

He started a book club in his town to feature books about Africa. At a book reading, he met a man from Uganda who lives in Michigan and works at Michigan State University. Chris was intrigued when the man told him that he grew up in that country and wanted to make a difference for children so he started a school for orphans.

Chris in Uganda with students from school for orphans

Chris and Deb wanted to get involved and that’s just what they did. Two years ago, Chris made a solo trip to that school in Uganda and met the school officials and students. That year, the couple learned that they were expecting their first child. They both traveled to Uganda during the 6^th month of the pregnancy to do some work at the school and in the community.

Chris shares how profound and life-changing the experience was. He was able to see these orphaned children going through the first graduation in the history of the school. He was able to share his special touch with them – helping to calm their fears in the process.

He also shared that there were heartbreaking experiences during his visit. He saw widespread poverty. He visited children whose fathers abandoned them and their mothers were dying of AIDS. Their lives now hang in the balance as they have to face the world without the presence of either parent. He and Deb sponsor some children in that country by contributing on a regular basis to their education. The secondary school system can be quite costly so they have taken on the cause to help educate these kids from a financial standpoint and also by visiting with them when they travel to Uganda.

The couple returned from Africa and just under two years ago, Tessa was born to them. Chris shares how he was excited about the birth but then the excitement quickly turned to fear. He did not know how to be a dad. He didn’t have a good example growing up so he was concerned that he would not be effective in the role. He says, “Parenting brought up anxiety about the troubles I experienced as a child.”

 He and his wife decided that he would work from home so he is a stay at home dad. He didn’t know any others like him in his community so he went on the internet to learn how he could connect with other stay at home dads. It was then that he learned the power of social media to not only connect with people but also to share life philosophies. He decided to start a blog because, as he says, “I see the blog as a platform to do good things.”

Chris and John Cave Osborne (author of Tales From the Trips)
at Modern Media Man Summit

Through Book Dads, he and others read children’s books and write reviews on them. That way, parents can learn about the books they buy for their kids before buying them. I am one of his book reviewers, by the way. Chris is a real professional to deal with and is just a good person.

Tessa is his world – along with Deb. He is very attentive to her in every way and he just wants her to grow up to have the same kind of compassion that he and his wife have. Though he has a degree in literature, he wasn't inspired to write after graduation. So for years, he did not utilize those skills. Tessa's birth sparked a renaissance in his writing and now he's a true professional at it.

He says, “I have always wondered what my legacy will be. Now that Tessa is here, I realize that fatherhood is such a unique opportunity to do something great. Some people don’t take advantage of that opportunity but I want to make the most of it. When I die, regardless of anything I may have ever done, the only thing I want people to know is that I was a good father.”

I honestly tell you that as I interviewed Chris for this article, I had tears in my eyes. And even as I have typed this, I’ve had goose bumps thinking about his inspiring journey. I am so touched, thrilled and overjoyed to even know someone like Chris Singer – so good-natured, such a humanitarian, such a wonderful human being.

Chris and Rodrick in Florida

My family and I had the awesome privilege of meeting the Singers as they visited South Florida just last week. And they are quite an impressive family. My wife was pleased to know that Chris had been asked to do some video work on a project in her home country of Haiti, but his trip was cancelled due to some unrest in the capital city, Port Au-Prince. He’s just the type of person you meet and you know that your life will forever be enhanced as a result of meeting him.

Please join me in celebrating the mission of one who I believe is a great man. He lives in a country where wealth and privilege are treated by many as their inherent right. Yet his greatest passion is eradicating poverty and hopelessness around the world.

His childhood was not the glamorous life that many have yet taken for granted. He had a difficult path to take but what a journey it’s been. One of the quotes that I have written is, “That which I thought was the death of me became the key to my victory.” That can be said of him. He channeled the negativity of his past to propel him to be an exceptional man – a loving husband and father and great humanitarian. For that, he ought to be applauded.

As always, if you would like to nominate someone – anyone – for our Upbeat Dad of the Week, please do so by sending an email to: info@theupbeatdad.com. Be sure to tune in next week Friday – and every Friday - for our Upbeat Dad of the Week.

Thanks for reading about Chris’ story. And I hope that, like him, you will use your gifts to enhance the lives of others within your sphere of influence.

Chris with wife and daughter

Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

Upbeat Dad of the Week: Doug Clarke

Doug Clarke

Each Friday at the Upbeat Dad, we honor a father who has displayed exceptional attributes that endear his kids and others to him. These features are some of our most read posts. So often we hear about what’s wrong with men; but the men that we feature are not your stereotypical uninvolved, absentee dads that we read and hear about. These men are involved, enthusiastic and excited about their roles as fathers.

Today’s feature is one that I have mixed feelings about as I write. You see, this is the first father who we are honoring posthumously. I hope that after reading this post, you would embrace the gift of life that each of us has and that you would touch the lives and hearts of those in your sphere of influence. Our featured dad this week is one who embraced this principle and that is why we have chosen to share his very touching story. It is with great honor that I say that our Upbeat Dad of the Week is Doug Clarke.

Doug and wife Ann Marie

I did not have the privilege of meeting Doug face to face. But as I began getting involved with social media a couple of years ago, I saw that he was in a network of friends who attended the school in Jamaica that I attended just before migrating to the United States in the early 80s. I learned that he also attended the school several years before me. We made contact and really hit it off. 


He was the type of person who you meet for the first time and you just believe that you’ve known him for all of your life. He was 15 years my senior but he was just a down to earth, friendly brother. I had the privilege of speaking with him on the phone a few times. And though we planned to meet at different events that our former school had in Florida, New York and Canada, it never materialized. Doug so endeared himself to those he met that just by knowing him, it was easy to embrace the good that there is in this world.

Originally from Jamaica, Doug lived in New York with his wife of 21 years. Their marriage produced one child – a girl, who is currently 16 years old. At his core, he was a family man. His life and his life’s work centered around the family and community involvement. For many years, he was a service manager with the Toyota Motor Company. Still, he was always involved in the community through his church and his fraternity. He believed in giving of himself to impact the lives of others in a positive and meaningful way.

In the mid 90s, Doug felt that, though he enjoyed a fulfilling career that afforded him the privilege of taking care of his family, he wanted to impact the lives of young people in a more meaningful way. And the way that he thought would be most ideal was through the formal education system. So he resigned from his job and went back to school to get a Masters degree in Education. He did so, knowing that he would likely not make as much money but he believed that his life would have greater impact by teaching those who will become the leaders of tomorrow. He, in fact, did end up making less money - $20,000 less, to be exact. But he loved every minute of it.


As a high school teacher, he became very involved in the lives of his students. He was seen as a mentor, a counselor and a father figure to his students. So many of them, particularly boys, didn’t have a father in the home or even a father figure in their life. Doug became that father and friend. He was the biological father of one child but he fathered so many more.

For 10 years he taught in the classroom and for 3 years he was an assistant principal. By becoming involved at this level, he was able to help steer young people in the right direction before they made some of the mistakes that so many make. He was a reservoir of knowledge on so many different subjects so he would listen to his students tell of their life goals and he would help them chart the course for their success. So many young men and women today owe a significant part of their success in education and in life to the lessons they learned from “Mr. Clarke.”

His family was his pride and joy. His wife, Ann Marie – who I interviewed for this article – tells of how his entire life was consumed with her and their daughter. When he became an educator, he and his wife worked at the same school. Each day, the family of 3 would commute, bonding along the way.

Doug and daughter

His daughter was his world. Every activity she was involved in, he was also an integral part. Whether it was the Girl Scouts, church activities or other social activities, he was right there in the midst of it. He touched the lives of so many young people that having his own child was something that he saw as a privilege and an honor.

He taught her the importance of community involvement. She accompanied him as he did activities such as feeding the homeless and giving out water to runners in the New York City Marathon. He demonstrated, not only in word, but also in deed, what it means to be involved in the community and in the family.

In 2006, Doug noted that he developed a pain in his hip. Not sure what was causing the problem, he sought the input of medical professionals. It was then that he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a form of bone cancer. He underwent the recommended treatment and the cancer seemed to have subsided. In early 2010, however, the disease returned and was much more aggressive. This time, in early September, it claimed his life at the relatively young age of 55. He is survived by his wife, daughter, mother, 4 sisters and several cousins, all with whom he was very close. He also left behind scores of friends and admirers around the world.

For so many of us who knew Doug, we never even knew that he was ill. To us, it was like the manifestation of the term, “Here today, gone tomorrow.” Michael Jackson sang the song, “Gone too soon,” and I think that this applies to Doug and his great life.

As I interviewed his widow for this article, I asked her what one word she would use to describe Doug. Her response was, “Satisfied.” She went on to explain, “He was satisfied with life. He was satisfied with his family and his work. And he was satisfied that his soul was at peace. He was just satisfied.”

Doug and wife Ann Marie

She tells of something quite significant as Doug laid in the hospital towards the end of his life. When the hospital chaplain came to the room to speak with him, knowing that he had a terminal illness and was near the end of his journey, the chaplain asked him, “Do you ever ask the question, ‘Why me?’” His response to her was, “Why not me? I’m no better than anyone else. I have been blessed with so much and I have friends and family that love me. These things happen to people all the time, so why not me?” He indeed fought a valiant battle and was brave as he faced his departure.

In his last days, he was still the loving family man he always was. When his wife came to see him, he always left some of his meal for her, thinking she might be hungry. His daughter was broken hearted, seeing her father in that state. As she cried, he consoled her and prayed with her. He even got her to smile before leaving his room for the last time.

Doug and a fraternity brother

It is said that a good man’s works outlive him. That can certainly be said of Doug Clarke.  People continually share stories of the lasting impression that he made on their lives. And in December 2010, his fraternity, Phi Beta Sigma, at their 90^th anniversary banquet, renamed their annual scholarship, which is awarded to students pursuing higher education, The Douglas Clarke Memorial Scholarship. How fitting a tribute for a man who championed the cause for students to get an education that could help them to achieve their life goals.

I wrote earlier that it is with mixed emotions that I pay tribute to Doug in this way. I hate the fact that he is gone. Yet, I am honored to have known him, if only for a short while. His work goes on and he’s still touching lives today. Billy Joel sang, “Only the good die young.” His 55 years were very well spent and in my opinion, he touched more lives in those years than many do for an entire lifetime.

I hope that you have been moved and encouraged by learning of the life of this great man. And I hope that his story will inspire you to be of service to your fellowmen. In my poem, A Lasting Legacy, I wrote:

Whenever I come to the end of my days

And I go to my final resting place

When the sun goes down and I finish this race

May I leave this world a better place.

This is my vow to humanity

A vow that will last all eternity

For my children and all who will come after me

May I leave a lasting legacy.

I believe that Doug Clarke has left a legacy that will live on perpetually. I know that my life has been enhanced by his story and I trust that yours has been as well.

As always, if you would like to nominate someone to be featured as our Upbeat Dad of the Week, please do so by sending an email to: info@theupbeatdad.com. You can nominate your dad, friend or loved one. You can even nominate yourself. We’re all about featuring those who embody the good things about fatherhood.

Doug with Congressman Charlie Rangel

Today, please reflect on the life that Doug lived. And, in your own way, commit to sharing your gifts to enhance the lives of others.

Have a great day.

The Upbeat Dad