Monday, February 28, 2011

Should You Relocate After Divorce When Kids Are Involved?


I recently wrote Post-Divorce Parenting: Visitation vs Time-Sharing. In that post, I shared how in my state – Florida – the family law rules have changed recently and one of the significant changes is that the term visitation is no longer used; instead, it’s now time-sharing. The implications of this are huge, in my view. The Florida courts now promote the idea that kids have two homes in which they live – no longer living primarily with one parent and visiting the other every other weekend. The big winners in this ruling are the kids, as far as I’m concerned.

As I thought about this ruling, what came to mind was the fact that after divorce, when individuals are free to go on and live the rest of their lives, many parents make major decisions with the kids in mind. While others make those decisions with what’s best for them or their careers in mind. Yet others start new families and think more about that new family and less about the kids from their former relationship. So I thought that today I’d write about the relocating after a divorce when kids are involved.

Most couples, as they enter relationships, are on cloud nine, as the expression goes. They imagine a fairy-tale life of happiness. Then comes reality; when the honeymoon is over and life becomes life, it’s a big wake-up call for many. Still, they settle down and have kids and try to make the best of life, despite the fact that they’ve realized that the person who they married is not quite as perfect as the person that they dated.
Many couples make it through this phase and go on to live happily ever after. Sometimes they make it but only after going to counseling where they get professional help to straighten things out. But many couples do not make it – and that’s just the reality of the situation. Despite their best efforts, many of these relationships end in divorce.
I always say that when marriages and other relationships end, when there are no kids involved, no matter how bitter or nasty the process may get, when it’s over, it’s over and then the healing begins. There’s nothing further from the marriage to deal with. When there are kids, however, there is a lifetime connection that never goes away. As long as the parents and the children are alive, they all have to deal with each other, to some degree.
Some couples, during their divorce proceedings, work together to ensure that, despite the ending of the relationship, they both remain actively involved in the day to day lives of the children. So they agree to live in the same vicinity – whether in a formally written agreement or just by a verbal understanding. Others have no such understanding or agreement but still they end up living in the same area because they choose to.

Then there are those who believe that, when the marriage has ended and they get on with their lives, they are free to pursue their goals and dreams without consideration to their former spouse. I’d like to address these individuals with this post. Please note that when I write about subject matters that may be a bit sensitive, as this one is, I’m not really saying what individuals should or shouldn’t do. My primary objective is to get others to see the potential impact on the children when these decisions are made.
So the question at hand is: Do you relocate after a divorce when kids are involved? My thought is that, it’s not a yes or no question. There are so many factors to consider.
The first issue to consider is why one would want to relocate. Some people have such a bitter divorce that they want to get as far away from their former spouse as possible. Others just want to start over fresh and new in an area where no one knows them or their family. That way, they don’t routinely run into their former spouse or other people who know them. Those meetings can potentially reopen wounds that are supposed to be healing.
Then others want to move back to the community where they grew up because they know of the unconditional love and support that they are shown there. Each of these reasons is certainly understandable. I know, having gone through a divorce, just how meaningful it is to be surrounded with love when you’re going through such a difficult period.
Still, when there are kids involved, each of these choices needs to be looked into a bit further. I believe that kids need the love and support of both parents. Note that I didn’t just say that kids need both parents. This is because some parents are just not the loving and supportive type; their kids might be better off without them. But when parents lovingly support their kids, I believe that they ought to be involved in their lives.
One of the significant factors to consider when thinking about relocation is the age of the kids. For instance, if the kids are 2 or 3 years old, one’s thought process might be different than if the kids are 15 or 16. A young child who’s just growing and developing a bond with the parents might lose that bond if one parent moves away.
I have a college friend who divorced. Not long after the divorce, his former wife wanted to relocate to a different city within the same state. They had a 2 year old child. He fought successfully to prevent her from moving because his point was that the bond with his young child may be broken. A year or so after the divorce, he got the opportunity of a lifetime – a high paying executive position in his home country, halfway around the world. I don’t know how long he deliberated but he ended up taking that position. So now, instead of seeing his child multiple times each week, he sees her once or twice a year.
The other extreme is when divorced parents make the decision to live close together so that the divorce won’t be too disruptive for the kids. I have a friend who went through a divorce a few years ago. He and his former wife have 2 teenagers. One of the children has autism and requires special care. Both parents agreed to live in the same community so that together they could provide their child the special care that’s needed.
A very significant factor in making such a decision is whether the kids would be relocating with us or not. It’s one thing to move with the kids and have them with us all the time; but it’s a totally different consideration when we move without the kids, knowing that we’ll see them less frequently. And when we move with the kids, we also need to consider how that might affect the kids’ relationship with the other parent, knowing that they’ll see him/her less frequently.
So you see, it’s really not a yes or no answer when we think about whether or not to relocate. Life is really all about choices. And the choices that we make affect not only ourselves but others. I don’t think that we can simply say people should not relocate after a divorce when there are kids involved. There’s just too much to consider. In my view, however, kids should be considered above our own personal wishes and desires.
I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve been affected in any way by the relocation issue after a divorce. I know that for some of you, reading this post has touched you deep within as you consider your own life and the decisions that you’ve made or that others have made.
I always try to get parents to think of the kids first. In the ideal world, we get married and live happily ever after. But that utopia doesn’t exist for everyone. I just encourage you to think of the kids in the decisions you make. You can relocate and be as close as ever to your kids. Or the same move could cause you to lose the essential connection with them.
If your kids are in a different city today, for any reason, give them a special phone call to let them know you love them.
Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

 

69 comments:

  1. I was brought here by a link on ProActiveDads, and would like to say your current post touches me and my situation directly.
    I am about to go through a divorce, and have a young son. Prior to the proceedings, I had returned to my home country to visit with my family and plan the next steps of separation. It soon became apparent that if I remained out of the country I would see my son only twice a year at best. Leaving the love and compassion of my family behind was one of the harder things I have ever had to do, but knowing that I was doing it to provide my son with regular access to his father was the one guiding precept that sustained me.
    Life here in the Midwest has been anything but easy since my return: little work, infrequent access to my son and the ever-present emotional strain that the separation caused have all contributed to a bleak outlook.
    Thankfully, good friends and the information gleaned from sites such as yours have helped me in my path, and now I am actively moving through the divorce process with a more positive attitude. I have applied and been accepted to study at two (possibly three) local Universities, and have chosen the closest one to my sons' residence so that seeing him regularly can be a reality, rather than a dream. This University is overshadowed by a much better program in the same state, but the choice was clear.. be far away and enrolled in a great program, or be enrolled in a good program and within an hours' drive of my son.
    I pray every day that these actions send a clear message to those who will have control over how and when I see him. I love my son, and try to call him every day, sometimes with success, mostly only reaching a voicemail. I would encourage all fathers in similar situations to consider their children first before making any decision to move far away. Your child needs you, no matter what the opponents may try to say.
    Thank you for posting this question and giving me an opportunity to add my story to your site.
    In Process, Midwest.

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  2. This question has been on my mind since my husband and I separated. I am a 4th year graduate student and had been planning on applying for postdoctoral positions all over the country this year. This is the way academia works. But now, I feel paralyzed. How can I do this and not disrupt the relationship that my children have with their father? Would I even be allowed to do so? If I don't, what will happen to my career?

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    1. have you considered going to court or talking to the father after your acceptance letter to the nearest school? I'd take the proof that I've applied to many schools and then take the acceptance letter(s) as proof that I am not doing this to be devious. I'd say you want to make a better life for your child and that was the only opportunity you had-which is to go to a school far away. You have to be sincere and apologetic and stern about it. You do not want to change your major just because he doesn't care about your needs or hates you. Let it be clear that you will be back in a few years and in between on break if possible and want the children to have a sufficient relationship with their father, and that you're not trying to take them away-it's for a purpose that you're moving and temporarily. Good luck with both your career and children. :)

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  3. You ask a very good question: How can I do this and not disrupt the relationship that my children have with their father?

    No matter what happens, the kids would be affected in some way. But still, life goes on. How can you do what's best for them while doing what's best for you? It's not easy.

    I think you do what best you can to work with your ex to figure the best scenario and hopefully the impact on the kids would be minimal. Easier said than done I know but its an ideal to aim for.

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  4. So your friend stopped the mom from moving on and then up and moved himself away from the child a short time later, with no compunctions. I see this so frequently. That man is a hypocrite and typical of the entitled and controlling attitude that men have towards the women who aren't picking their socks up anymore and the babies they "get" from them.

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  5. Great advice. Once again it feels good to know that I am on the right track in choosing to stay around after I am divorced primarily for my kids. They are my pride and joy.

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  6. so your friend kept his ex from moving for HER dream, but when it came to HIS dream, that was okay. this is my experience; men take action in court to secure THEIR rights, not the rights of their children. my ex is a HORRIBLE man. an abusive father. a liar, thief, etc. but the court still awarded him 20% custody. he has admitted to throwing them across the room, screaming at them, pushing them, slapping them across the face, etc. the court still thinks time with him is "important". my 12 year old has 2 therapists, because her "father" is the most abusive towards her. children do not NEED both parents. children need love and support. they need people who will be patient and appreciate them. people who will honor them.
    and when it comes to who's time it is; its not dads weekend, or moms weekend; its the KIDS weekend. we aren't dividing a set of china. children have feelings and fears and needs. it is not good for children to move from house to house. one parent should act as the primary home and the other parent visits as it fits into the schedule of the primary parent and the children. the only "rights" anyone should be concerned are those of the children.
    btw, in our custody evaluation my ex was found to be a bi-sexual, transvestite, narcissist w/ a borderline personality disorder. i knew none of that when i married him. but the court thought none of that mattered. his being a liar and living a secret life; totally okay.
    the family court system is BROKEN.

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    1. I would caution against claiming that men are the problem. My son's mother has been found to have narcissistic and borderline personality disorder. She was just found in contempt of court for lying to the court and stealing $9k in money, yet the court refuses to do anything to help my son. She is the primary parent because she is the mother. The bias against fathers is horrendous in this society. My son is being abused by his mother, used as a weapon and treated horribly. After years of trying to be an active father, I am at a point of giving up. Neither his mother nor the courts seem to care about him or allowing a relationship between me and him. I feel like moving away and maybe saving him from being put in the middle all the time. If the courts will not stop the abuse, what is a father supposed to do?

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  7. It helps a lot to read this post. Although I have family in the state where I currently live, I feel a stronger connection to another state where I have friends of 20 years and where I spent my early career years. They've been suggesting that I move back there, and I'm pretty sure the job prospects are stronger.
    The issue is that ironically, I don't want to move my child away from his father. It's not that I hold the father in high regard, far from it. It's that I know my child really needs his dad. During the separation period, I've allowed my child to go on out of state trips with his dad to see grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins -- a 14-hour car trip. It's really hard for me to do this, but I know the connection with his paternal side is equally important. I had it as a kid, because my parents did not divorce. Why should I deprive my child of it?
    But I always return to this issue of feeling more secure with a better job and being surrounded by the people who love me most. In this case, those people are friends, not family. I guess I'm an anomaly that way.
    I suppose the answer for now, given our state of upheaval and wanting to keep things even for the child, is to stay put. I'm sure I can find a better job locally if I work long enough at it. And I'll work at strengthening my relationships in the local community. Maybe someday when I feel the time is right, I'll look into that move. For now, I just don't think it's good for the kiddo.
    Thanks for this post, because I've really been wrestling with the idea, but this helped me to sit down and crystallize it.

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  8. Ultimately, provided that the children will still be able to enjoy a meaningful relationship with both parents, then relocating following a divorce is fine.

    Divorced parents need to put their children's welfare first whenever they make a decision. It's that simple.

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  9. My ex had our second baby and then announced her affair, and her need for a divorce. So all those years and sacrifices... now I have a chance to live on Europe and pursue my career... the kids... how do I make what's good for me, good for them. I didn't bring this on...

    Peace with the Ex. Realistic planning. Compassion. The children are already living a compromised life that we are all working hard to overcome. A relocation is just another complication. Where there is a will there is a way.

    It's not about selfishness or selflessness. It's about love, and how you show it. And part of that is how you treat yourself and your dreams and your goals. Without those, you don't have much to offer your children.

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  10. A question.....My ex and I have been divorced going on 4 years. We have two teenagers,a 9 and 5 year old. We have both remarried and he has taken on her two children who are under the age of 4. My new husband and I have the chance to move for a new job out of state, which would also allow us to be closer to his mother who is elderly and ill. What do you think the courts would say if he tries to prevent the move based soley on the basis of not seeing them every other week? And can he move where ever we do?

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    1. Are you kidding?? do u really think the court will let you take your kids out of states and out of their father? you will have to stay in the states with your new husband, unless their dad agree to your move. 0% it will happen

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  11. That's a tough one. I'm not sure just how the courts would see it. Each state operates differently. Some push for 50/50 sharing of time between dad and mom while others think mom should be primary custodial parent.

    Even so, relocation is one of those things that the courts can be firm on, particularly in your case - where you would be moving with the kids. I would think that if your ex objects, the courts would give greater consideration to your children's proximity to their dad than the proximity of your new husband to his mom.

    If you do move and your ex decides to move to the same city, there's nothing I can think of that would prevent him from doing so.

    Hope this helps. Remember, through all of this, it's the kids' best interest that should be priority.

    Best of everything to you and your family.

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  12. It seems that in many cases the father is only partially involved with raising the child. Perhaps that's just how he wants it. It's pretty convenient for him to have his Ex around to take care of the kids 85% of the time and then see them for part of the weekend. What about those situations? The mother is stuck living near the father but wants to move on with her life. She takes care of the kids most of the time anyway and is simply enabling the father to be a part-time father at best. She is being held hostage to his lack of responsibility as a parent and it really seems unfair. In these cases, what difference does it make if the kids see their father for a couple months of the year over summer vacation and on other holidays? It might actually force the father to be an parent for a change instead of a buddy the kids see on Saturday night.

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    1. I find this really offensive, when I was younger I spent the weekends at my Dad's and weeknights at my Mom's. Dad has always been more involved, I wanted to play school sport, Mom wasn't interested so Dad pick me up after school, took me to training, and dropped me off at home. Dad always spent time with us playing board-games or reading or cooking or whatever, Mom would just plonk us in front of the TV while she slept off her hangover. Just because the courts ruled we should spend more time with Mom (pretty much just because of this archaic idea that mothers are better parents) does NOT mean he was dodging his responsibilities, if anything he was MORE of a parent!

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    2. Wow imagine , a divorced women actually having consequences for the divorce she probably asked for.....;(

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  13. I am a father going through a divorce and have two children: a four year old that I am extremely close with and a newborn. Eight days after my daughter's birth, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. We have always had issues and we have made mistakes in our marriage that ultimately led to this. One of the biggest issues is that I have had a fantastic opportunity to work for the military in a specialized role. I am a veteran and have wanted to return to the military for many years. This has always been a source of tension between us. Now that we are divorcing, I want to finish my military career, but feel it may ruin my relationship with my children because they will hardly ever see me. So, I have forced myself to take a career position very near them geographically instead. The downside is that while I'm close to my children, I am miserable professionally because I know what I want to do with my life, but feel I would be failing my children if I go do it. It's a conundrum for sure. I'm miserable professionally, but close to my kids. If I take my dream career, I'll miss them terribly and they won't have a very close relationship with me, I fear. I don't know what to do. I want to do what's best for my kids, but I don't want to go through the rest of my life resenting the fact that I knew what I wanted out of my life, but couldn't go do it. Many people don't get this about the military. It's a calling for some people, just like becoming a priest, cop, minister, or missionary. It is your life and personality... not just a job. By not going, I'm miserable because it feels like I'm denying myself from BEING myself! Your thoughts negative or positive would be appreciated.

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    1. It's hard to say without knowing who you and your ex are. If you are gone it will make it easier for your ex to say you abandoned the kids if she is angry or mean spirited. On the other hand my dad was not around much when I was a child, but knowing that his door was always open for me should I choose to have more contact with him in the future was a very good thing. Also these days with Skype and Facetime etc. if your ex is able to be amicable and let you talk to your kids through that it can help with the distance while allowing you to pursue your military career. I am now a stepmom and we are trying to get our lives together and do what is best for us and for his daughter. His ex is very difficult to deal with and moves around each year because she can't pay her bills on time and is on government assistance working part time and whines about how hard her job is to my husband all the time. His daughter is nine and we have been debating moving out of the state in a couple of years and since we barely see his daughter ie every other weekend and half the summer, it's been a hard choice in a way but easy in another. Going through this with my husband and having grown up with my father being distant, I would say that you should do what you need to do for you. I find that many people try to do what is best for others and sometimes even then in the end their relationship with their children is ruined or non-existent. Kids can tell when their parent is miserable and kids especially as adults will do what they want and make their own choices. I don't think it matters what you do or where you are as long as you keep in some form of contact and they know you love them and as I said before that the door is open. There will be more time when they are adults to get close, that's what I have done with my father and now we have a great bond.

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  14. It sounds like you're going to be miserable either way. It's a no-win situation for you. Therefore, I'd choose the option that at least allows your children to be happy by having you present in their life.

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  15. A few years ago I divorced from my daughter's father when she was only two years old. He, til this day, she is now 6 blames me for her not bonding with her. Now, we live only 2.5 hours away. Before we got married, he knew I was planning to move to this city because of my family. I married with the idea he was ok with us to move to my hometown. When we divorced, the hardest part was realizing how much emotional damaged he had done thoughout our marriage and even during the divorce, including not wanting to see his daughter for 6 weeks. Now, what I have told him, what is his excuse for not moving to be near his daughter if he felt our move affected his bond? Parents move ... people move. I was awarded the decision to be able to take the child and move where I saw fit in the court. Now, the reason I moved was because I needed family support since I had no one in the city we lived in. After so many attempts to fix the marriage, including therapy, I did think in the best interest of my child. So it is not all black and white. My point is...it is not so much about the initial move with the child, but if the other parent really cares, why does that parent not move to be closer to their child? Like my ex, he can keep playing the victim and say I am the one ruining the bond, but the reality is that he can move as well. Not all the blame has to fall on the parent having the child. IF it were me, and I would not have custody of my child, and my ex moved, I would be packing that same day and figuring out how to work and live where ever my child was living. So in my perspective this article does not address a big part of ... hey...other parent...don't play the victim...go after your child if you really love them and stop blaming and complaining.

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    1. If your ex moved with the child, you would pack your bags the same day to be with your child?? Really? You were the one moving to be with your family depriving your child from having 2 parents growing up. You expect your ex to move to your city but does your ex have support there? It's time to put the child first when you have a child...

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    2. My wife moved to her hometown 600 miles from where we lived and the only hometown the kids knew. She said she wanted to be closer to her family. My kids are 17, 15 and 12. I followed her, giving up a good job, to be close to the kids. She allowed me to move in with her until I found work and moved out. She was so incredibly mean to me that I had to move back before I could find a home. I moved back with my dad and was out of work for a year (yes, there was no work at even Home Depot or Walmart). The kids loved there schools, Church and friends. They did not want to leave. The only reason I moved was to rebuild our family as she said she would work on it. I know realize she just wanted to stall me until she reached the 6 month residency requirement so she could file there and not in our home state. After a year, the kids have friends and are not sure they want to come back. I think they will but I am not sure if I should proceed with a custody fight or move closer to them. I could work to make a good place for them to come back to when they decide (I think they will) and to visit friends and family, or move there until the youngest graduates. I would have to find work there and a place which would take time, I am working here though.

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  16. Interesting article. New to the site, but I think I'll register and stick around as an upbeat dad!

    Well we are in the process of divorcing (she wants to I don't) and my soon-to-be-ex expects me to stay in the European town in which have lived for the past 10 years. Whilst is is a FANTASTIC place to raise our 2 boys of 5 and 8, its not such a great place for a single man in my position. This is her country and not mine and cities are simply better for foreigners to get on. So in due course I plan to move to a bigger city 20 minutes away (where I work) to start a new life. . I'd like us to co-parent (this is the legal default) and she needs to if she wants to continue to work part-time. This arrangement means more complexity with getting the kids to school, which I currently do 2-3 times a week now before I go to work and pick them up at least twice a week too. We should be able to continue but it'll mean more time travelling. This is already quite a juggling act when combined with current job responsibilities. I plan to work less in 2013 (change in legal contract) to make co-parenting easier by working a 4 day week. This is continental Europe and my boss is okay with this change.

    So this arrangement is manageable I think. Not ideal but manageable. Is this move reasonable on my part given the circumstances? I love my kids and I have a right to a new life too!

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  17. I have a 12 and an 8 year old and was the primary supporter of the family until I got laid off last Spring and have been unable to find a job. I live in a rural area with not many friends or job prospects and want to have a fresh start by being closer to my family, including my aging mother. I have many family and friends in CT and more job prospects and opportunities being closer to NY. I also am not thrilled about our high school and the sports limitations for my son there. My husband has a very weak job history (often taking winters off), few contacts in the area and I have suggested to him that I don't want to move away from him, I want us to move together and figure out a plan. Think we all could use a new fresh start (a lot of baggage living in rural community where everyone knows your history). My 8 year old loves her school and friends, and my son wants me to move into the next community that is richer, better schools, and he has lots of friends there. It would still be far away from my family and jobs so doesn't solve the problem. I worry if I force everyone to move, the kids will hate me. They are popular, outgoing athletic kids and think they are pretty flexible. Hard to know what to do.

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  18. Adrien
    I have 3 kids and I am in the process of deciding whether to move back closer to my friends and family where I have support. As well as getting divorced I am starting a new career after being a professional athlete for 20 years.I feel I made many sacrifices in my marriage and find myself having difficulty deciding what my next step should be. It is difficult because I might not see my children in the beginning stages and I don't want my children to suffer. Being somewhere where you feel isolated during such changes isn't optimal for them as well.My goal is to live in both places eventually, the need to prioritize my goals in order to make this possible will determine my next step. Would love some comments!!!

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  19. My wife and I are divorced now and I am thinking about moving to a part of the state where I have family instead of staying where she has family, a place I never would have moved to unless it involved my wife and her family. We have discussed me moving with my son to another area of the state, about 5 hours or so drive away, and he would attend school there 4 days a weeks and be able to be with his mother the other three days where she lives. He cried at first but then thought it would be pretty cool to do this. He and I have a special bond, I might even say a stronger bond than he has with his mom because she doesn't really spend much time with him even when they are together. What to do? Move to where I have family and get a new start, get out of this small area where everyone knows everyone? Or, stay here and have all the time in the world with my son but have to deal with my ex more often and her friends and family. Our son is 12 and will be starting middle school next year so the move to another school isn't as bad as moving in the middle of a grade or school year. What do you think? Anyone who has an opinion is welcome, please be respectful. Thanks.

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  20. My ex and I have 50/50 custody of our boys 12, 9, and 8. I am thinking about relocating to another state some 24 hrs away. I want to do this for work. My ex says it is abandonment if I leave. I would still be able to see the kids just that they would have to fly out in the summer and back at the end of summer. I really see nothing wrong with this, except that the 12 yo wants to live with me and mom is holding onto him tightly. She seems to think that it is wrong to break up the kids. I am not so sure it would impact them that much. The other two would have more mom time and vice versa. I am confused and really unsure as to what to do. My family lives in the other state and here I have no one other than my children. I live as far away from her as I can right now. She still broods a fair amount of anger towards me and lets the boys know it. Just lost I guess.

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  21. I too live in a city in Canada very far from where my family and close friends live and where I grew up (other side of the country). I would never have chosen to live here but this is where my wife is from and she definitely will not move. We have a 4 year-old daughter and now we are getting a divorce (somewhat mutual I suppose although I wanted to keep working on it). I have only a few friends here and only see my family once a year. I've sort of resigned myself to the fact that I'll be living here for the next 15 years at least for my daughter's sake. I love my daughter more than anything but at the same time it really hurts to think of what I'm giving up. My parents are getting older and I'm losing the connection to my home. But what else can I really do?

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  22. Good to see a lot of people facing the same challenges. Moved to the midwest because the exwife wanted to be by her family with our young children. We soon divorced and I have no one here, feeling isolated, miss my family, friends and support on the west coast. My relationship with the ex is not healthy, we still cannot communicate after 3 years a part. She says I'd be abandoning my kids if I move, yet she does little to make anything easy for any of us. Shes a very irresponsible person that does little to improve or take care of herself, but continues to grind me for more child support and extra monies for everything. I love my kids, but I feel unhealthy in this situation. I struggle with the thought of moving away from my kids, but I feel trapped in a miserable life, which isn't good for my kids either.

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  23. I'm British and lived in Spain with my British ex and three children. When I got separated from my ex, I moved back to Britain for the support of my family and old friends and - critically - because I could not find any employment in Spain that would actually cover both my maintenance and my living costs. Now I have a good job back in Britain (which at least means the children benefit from a good amount of maintenance), but don't see them nearly as often as I like because of the limited annual leave I get - to spend a weekend out in Spain with them can take up to 4 days of leave (Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday) in the winter months because of limited flights to the region of Spain where they live. They stay with me for half of each of the three school holidays (Christmas, Easter, Summer) which is lovely, but I find the long gaps in-between very hard. I try to speak to them on the phone frequently, but they have a lot going on (out with friends/sports activities/playing in the garden or park etc) that I don't get hold of them often as I like. It is hard! I record video messages to them on DVD sometimes and send them out, which I know they appreciate, but I long for a job with enough money and flexible leave that I can get out see them more often between the holidays.

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  24. I snapped packed and left my emotionally abusive husband.I took the kids 6 and 10 8 hours away to another state where my family is .I need their support through this difficult time plus it would be much easier and cheaper to bring up my kids here .i would never be able to survive on the east coast where my ex lives.but my ex loves the kids a lot and is devastated and my older one can't stop crying coz will miss dada and old school.Im considering moving back but I'm scared to do that bcoz life is more expensive and I will not have the great support my family would give me and the kids.i don't want to fall under my ex control again when he would know that he would be the only one around to help me.But I still want my kids to enjoy his frequent company ??

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  25. I live in the same town as my son right now and drive 45 minutes to work each day. He stays with his mom and I see him on Wednesdays and every other weekend. I could move across the street from work and still see him on Wednesdays and every other weekend but I'm not sure how he will feel about me moving 45 minutes away instead of being 10 minutes from him.

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  26. The points raised in the article are valid ones. I believe that contact with the children often becomes a problem after divorce, particularly when the divorce is an acrimonious one. I have read that men often view 'wife and children' as a kind of package deal, and find it hard to disentangle their relationship with their children from their failed relationship with their former spouse. My own experiences tend to highlight this. As a noncustodial father, after several years of bitter legal fighting, now that the divorce is over, I personally am tempted to relocate far away. This may seem selfish, but it is intensely painful to be relegated to seeing your child every two weeks, and have most of your parental influence removed by the court. Seeing the child merely opens old wounds and every parting is painful. It is actually easier to just not see the child and then the memories become hazy and they become an abstraction, not a constant, painful reminder of what you lost. When I go a period of time without seeing my child, the price I pay is in the dreams I have when I sleep, and a constant doubt and guilt. However when I see the child, there is the pain of doing it, the stress of the arguments with the ex and the misery of the parting and the realisation that you are no longer really an important part of your child's life. It is a hard thing to bear.
    There are multiple articles on the web of course about the so-called 'dead-beat dads'. The implication is that anyone who doesn't see his kids every week and remains fully integrated in their lives, is somehow a failure. I do not agree with this viewpoint because very often, as in my case, the mother does not encourage the relationship or even, actively tries to prevent it. I now understand why emotionally and financially drained, battle-weary dads just decide to walk away. It is very tempting to start a new life and never, ever be forced to speak to the ex again. The arguments become too tiring. Dads who do so, in such a situation, whilst continuing to honor their financial obligations, I feel are doing so out of a desire to move on with their lives when they are helpless to see any other path that will allow them peace. If relocation is a part of that moving on, either through opportunity or choice, then its for the individual to decide what makes them happy. There are no points in life for spending a miserable fifteen years of your life, being where you don't want to be, if you feel you will be happier elsewhere. Fathers who have been forced by the legal system into being merely 'income providers' already lost the majority of their parenting time and the bulk of their bond with their children. Coming to this realisation is not an easy or quick process. For me, at least, it has happened in stages. The first stage was when my ex took the child and moved away. You spend a while trying to adjust to this. Then when the legal process starts, the lies and the wrangling and (in my case) my ex's unsuccessful attempts to get 'orders of protection' and 'full custody', the bitterness increases and the contact decreases. Whilst the fighting goes on, its natural to fight back, and indeed anger gives you energy. However, once the dust settles and the fighting is over, for me at least, it has become increasingly difficult to continue to make the effort. I just feel tired of fighting - so, for me, if I was offered a chance to relocate anywhere on the planet, I would certainly consider it. It comes down to personal choice - but I don't believe it any more noble to stay than I consider it a bad thing to go, however society does not widely support this viewpoint.

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    Replies
    1. I found your comments to be very enlightening and similiar to my current situation which has been pretty awful. So first, sorry to hear your going through this pain. It does completely drain you regardless ofmwhich side of the coin your on. Im currently seperated from my husband going thru a divorce. He basicaly had a midlife crisis, laid off from his job, and hated our marriage so he met someone in anither state and conviently began job searching in that specific state and used the job relocation as an excuse to leave his family and live another life, apparently, a better life without his family. He syas he wss able to do this because I stayed in our home and took care ofnour young children, all the while he ws figuring out his new found freedom and decided he liked it, and would not commit to working on the mwrriage or when he would return home to his family. I supportednhim thru this job relocation knowing it was completely temporary. Them as soon as he ws settled there he wanted a divorce and has gone so long as 12 weeks without seeign his children. He has completely chosen to live 16 hours away from them and thinks its acceptable to see them every 4 weeks, at best. This is not parenthood in my opinion. I have had to beg him to come visit after being away for 4 weeks, begged him to come home for fathers day and have always given him prority seeing the kids when he has been willing to fly back home. He thinks its accetable to pay nearly $800 a month to see them once a month for a few days, rather then living closer to them. He has a temp. Job and temp living arrangements and im sure will arrange to kive for away for jis own selfish reasons, all the while telling our children he is away for work and work keeps him away. They want to know why they can't see uim more and why he cant live closer? What do I say? He would have me move closer to him, takifng kids away from family and friends and the only home they have known, because he would then be able to stay where he is, but cause massive upheaval for the kids. Long and short if you really wan tto be a parent to your children on at least a day to day, or weekly basis, dont give up the fight, an adult can process and cope with these life changes so much better then children who should be enjoying their childhood vs. Wondering when they will see their absent parent again. I wish uou the best and hope your other half sees how this is effecting yiur children

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  27. I am a mother of two wonderful kids, ages 2 and 7. I have lived in the US for 12 years to be with my American husband. To be honest, I have never enjoyed living here, I feel isolated, lonely and have missed my friends and family for years. My husband is well-aware of this, yet he has never made any effort to move. I have batted depression and feel that I need to be a happy person in order to make my kids happy. This has been one of the main reasons for our separation. He knows that I have been wanting to move for years and that I have been unhappy yet he has chosen to not help me.

    It's been over a year since we separated and I am still unsure what to do. I am from Sweden and want nothing more than to move back. I will be able to get government assistance, get my master's degree, and raise my children in what I consider to be a much safer and better place to raise them than America. I just don't see how I can afford living in America as a single mom with a child in daycare and one in aftercare, even with his financial help and with my ok income. I also want to be where I have family and a support system. Even after so many years in America, I feel that I have no one. I truly feel trapped and don't know what to do.

    My husband says he is ok with me moving back to Sweden, but I fear what it will do to him and the kids. How can I make the decision for them to grow up without their father in their life other than on summer holidays just for my own happiness? Am I being selfish, or should I pursue my own dreams?

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    Replies
    1. Hi,
      Amazing how your case just likes mine. I married an American woman, and after few years came to US to live here for 4 years, but realized my ex does not want to go back to my country. I am here already 11 years most of the time never enjoyed living here, far away from family, friends, and supportive environment. I am a father for 3 amazing kids, love them so much. I got divorce 3 years ago, but what do you do with the fact that i am in the US for almost 11 years, feeling lonely now, especially after the divorce, but want to go back home?! I mean, do i really need to spend now all my life (at least for the next 14 years - until my little one will be 18) far away from home, and family? Find a new woman where i live, seem to be hard and challenging. I Never missed any child support payment, pay by myself tuition for all kids, health insurance. etc., etc. it is a no win situation either way. But sometimes in life you have to make a very hard decisions, so after many years when you look back, you know you did the right think for your kids’ sake, but also some for yourself. I will be happy to hear from you more about your situation, and what are your plans? Did u decide already, or you still don’t know what to do? Does your ex-husband agree for you to take the kids to Sweden? One thing for you - Don’t let any depression or hard times to break you!! Eventually you will be out of it and find a new life. Your happiness is not less important than your kid’s happiness. I will be glad to hear back from you.
      All the best

      Delete
  28. I am a recently separated father of 2 girls one 5 and the younger one 2. My ex has found a new partner who lives 400km away and wants to move there with our two daughters to be with him. She can find a similar job there to the one she has now. We are currently working this out between ourselves instead of going to court where we are unable to pay for the lawyers. We currently jointly share our children one week with the mother the other week with me. If this moves takes place I will only be able to have my daughters every second weekend and at vacation times. As a father I am worried that the bond I have with both girls will fade with time, does anyone have any suggestions how to keep our bond strong if the move does take place?

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    Replies
    1. Hi:

      If you are already sharing custody, why is it a given that the children have to relocate with your ex? In other words, why can't *she* be the one who is with them every second weekend and on vacations? Or why can't her new partner move 400km to where you are?

      Those questions are a little rhetorical (and bitter), but you might want to ask them anyway.

      If she does end up moving away with your daughters, if you make efforts you will always have a strong bond with your daughters. In addition to your regular visits, skyping with them every few days may seem kind of lame, but I find it works very well.

      Good luck with everything.


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  29. I have a 12 year old son and I have not been with his mother since he was one years old. I have recently fought tooth and nail to have shared custody and things are going great. However, I have been re-married for 2 years and eventhough my wife loves my son, she misses her country. I miss her country as well, since I lived there for a year when we first met. I have so much more opportunity there and she wants to start a family, but only there. his is due to the free health care and better child services that the country provides.She is miserable living here and it is hurting our relationship. All in all moving back to her home country would be an unbelievable thing for us. But what about my 12 year old son. I think that he needs me now more than ever. I am thinking that we should stay here for 2 more years until he goes to Highschool. At that time we will have a strong relationship and he is olde enough to visit me in the summers and I can come to the states in the winters. What are your thoughts?

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  30. I am a divorced Father of an eleven year old son and a seven year old daughter. I moved from where we lived when my son was three months old in order for my wife to reunite with her side of the family which she really did not know because she was a product of a divorce. Now all these years later we are divorced and where I reside is twenty minutes from my kids. I see them one or two nights a week, every other weekend and extra days during vacations, special events and holidays. I have been contemplating a move to another state for work and a change in life . I worry about the effect in not being available as much to my children. I know there is the phone, Skype, etc. for everyday communication, yet I know if I make this move it will not be the same. However, I also know that if I make this change it would be better for me personally- meaning I would be happier, therefore a happier Father in general. This is really difficult and tormenting. I have approached the subject with my son in an abstract way ( I may move to someplace warmer someday- do not like cold weather.).
    Curious to see how others may have dealt with this...... I am fully prepared to have them anytime I can afford airfare for them-- which would be 6-7 times a year plus summer vacations...

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  31. hi - i have 2 daughters aged 10 and 12 and have been very close with them since our divorce 6-7 years ago. They have lived with me 3 days a week since we divorced and our relationship is better than ever (children).

    I live 5 miles from their mother so there is no issue about travel or anything however i recently met someone , fell in love and after 2 years with her, considering moving in with her 30 miles away. My kids love her but MY big issue is that i will no longer have sleepovers with my daughters except for alternate weekends , currently they sleep over7-8 days a month during the week and these will become 'visits' if i move in with my girlfriend.

    I am having a lot of trouble deciding if i should seek out my personal desires with the impact on my kids time with me...wondering if any other dads out there have had this to consider......

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  32. I have found your site by accident... I am happy i did... my story is much more complicated then yours mentioned above... my wife left me three months pregnant and moved to Malta... after a period of stress and frustration... she begged me to go to her... saying she was sorry for the abuse and that our daughter would need a father.. I would like to say that the two years of marriage we had were full of abuse, name calling etc... in any case i did love her and said for the sake of the baby, i agreed to relocate to her... a year and a bit has passed our daughter is one year old. and she has once again asked for a divorce.. in the one year i have been with her in Malta id like to say, i have been the primary carer for our daughter: putting her to sleep, feeding her changing her etc.. Being in a foreign country (im from Cyprus (2 hours by plane) and given the hostile, unforgiving and manipulative nature of my wife.. i question wether to stay in the country of return to my home country where my family and friends and life i grew up in is.. She has already blackmailed me with the baby, and does not return my calls. I love my daughter with all my heart... but i do not feel i can communicate with my ex wife, or that she even sympathizes that i relocated for her...

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  33. Aww, this was a great read until the spam kicked in.

    :(

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  34. Hey Guys,am so so happy..
    I had a problem with my boyfriend six months ago,which lead to us apart.
    When he broke up with me,I was no longer myself,I felt so empty inside
    .Until a friend of mine told me about one of her spells that helped in
    same problem too that she found on a television program. i emailed the
    spell caster and I told him my problem and I did what he asked me to
    briefly make. to cut the long story short,Before I knew what was
    happening,not up to 48 hours,my boyfriend gave me a call and he come back
    to me and told me he was sorry about what has happened, I'm so grateful to
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    (UNIQUELOVESPELLCENTER@YAHOO.COM) I will be forever grateful to you.or you can also call him on his mobile for easy contact on +2348159645271

    ReplyDelete
  35. i will love to share my testimony to you all the people in world.
    My name is Clara James form london new york i got married to my husband about 2 year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side i have never love any man in my life except him. he is the father of my child and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today .few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about Prophet Adesuwa how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other. i was directed to Prophet Adesuwa on his email: prophetadesuwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him i Am so happy now. so that why i decided to share my experience with every body that have such problem contact Prophet Adesuwa the great spell caster on his email Id: prophetadesuwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. i am Ari by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ehispellcentre@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.EHI His email: ehispellcentre@gmail.com Dr EHI OR CALL IM ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2347053839053 Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hello I am Lisa Jerry ,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to Priest Ohio the great messenger to the oracle of priest Ohio solution home,I narrated my problem to Priest Ohio about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Priest Ohio on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his private website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com and get your problems solved like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi. who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website address: http://driyayilovespellhome.webs.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285. He is the best spell caster.




    I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi. who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website address: http://driyayilovespellhome.webs.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285. He is the best spell caster.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hello every one, I really want to share my testimony to the hearing of the general public on this site about how DR EHI helped me, December 2013, I saw a post on a particular site shearing testimony on how the great spell caster brought back her ex who name is Jerry so I just see it common and i said let me see what will happen because my husband left me and my three kids for another woman just like that, i and my husband was married for six years living happily before i new what was going on, he left me and go for another woman so when i saw the post, i contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me i should not worry that my husband will come back to me in three days after once he finish casting the reunite spell and to my greatest surprise, i now have my husband back to me again and i want to use this medium to let every body know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please contact the great spell caster on his email now because he can do the unexpected. his email is ehispellcentre@gmail.com or email him directly on his web site http://ehispellcentre.webs.com . I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me....My name
    is vickey dam and I base in London...�My life is back!!! After 8 years
    of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt
    like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell
    caster called Dr Okoro who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was
    browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that
    can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this
    particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex
    lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he
    can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular
    testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how
    Dr Okoro brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of
    her testimony she drop Dr Okoro e-mail address. After reading all these,I
    decided to give Dr Okoro a try. I contacted him via email and explained my
    problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our
    issues, and we are even happier than before. Dr Okoro is really a talented
    and gifted man and i will not to stop publishing him because he is a
    wonderful man...If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and
    genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa ork
    today, he might be the answer to your problem. Here's his contact:
    Dr Okorotemple@gmail.com Thank you great ork. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care


    Contact him today on:
    Dr Okorotemple@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  41. Viewers of this testimony should please stop by and rejoice with me.
    My name is Melisa Shawn from Usa, i never believe in love spell or magic powers because i believed all of them was scammers and fake until when i experienced heart brake with the father of my kids and i came across Prophet Ibu of divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com or divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com a great online spell caster who just helped me recently to rescue my lost relationship with my Husband who broke up with me for good three and a half years. When i contacted him, i told him everything that happened between me and my Husband and without demanding anything from me, he decided to perform a spell cast and after 24 hours surprisingly my Husband called me on my mobile and started speaking with me in a good manner and as i am sharing this testimony now we are back again into our relationship and i'm the happiest woman on earth for Prophet Ibu had done a great and wonderful thing in my life. Come and rejoice with me and if you wish to contact Prophet Ibu for any help i will drop his email ids(divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com and divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com) or you contact him through his personal website on
    http://divinesolutioncenter.webs.com/
    He is the best of our time...

    ReplyDelete

  42. Hello my name is joy brown, and I want to share this great testimony about how Dr.okunade who helped me bring back my ex lover, During my search for solution i came in contact with Dr.okunade details and through his help my lover came back to me within 48 hours. So with these i am so bold to advise anyone seeking for a way to get there lover back to contact Dr.okunade via email at: okunadelovespell@gmail.com. I am so happy at least myself and my lover are going to live together in good health,
    Thanks to Dr.okunade once again....

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  43. My Name is Mr James smith .I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 2 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too,This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him on this e-mail; airemokhaspellcaster@gmail.com i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck his email;airemokhaspellcaster@gmail.com

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  44. Viewers of this testimony should please stop by and rejoice with me.
    My name is Melisa Shawn from Usa, i never believe in love spell or magic powers because i believed all of them was scammers and fake until when i experienced heart brake with the father of my kids and i came across Prophet Ibu of divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com or divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com a great online spell caster who just helped me recently to rescue my lost relationship with my Husband who broke up with me for good three and a half years. When i contacted him, i told him everything that happened between me and my Husband and without demanding anything from me, he decided to perform a spell cast and after 24 hours surprisingly my Husband called me on my mobile and started speaking with me in a good manner and as i am sharing this testimony now we are back again into our relationship and i'm the happiest woman on earth for Prophet Ibu had done a great and wonderful thing in my life. Come and rejoice with me and if you wish to contact Prophet Ibu for any help i will drop his email ids(divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com and divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com) or you contact him through his personal website on
    http://divinesolutioncenter.webs.com/
    He is the best of our time...

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  45. i am Roda i want to say a big thanks to dr anu for restore my family it has been a long time now my husband left home for no reason, he went and stay with another lady. and i tried all i can he insist not to come back home even a lot of spell caster cheated me because i want my husband back all was in vain. but am happy today that i found someone who restore my family and bring back my husband. called dr anu, i believe that your time will come and you will also have your heart desire
    after reading my testimony. my promise to dr anu is to shear his grate name to the word because i can not pay for all he has don for me. his email anuspiritualhome@gmail.com

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  46. Beware of internet spell caster who are scammers..An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my ex husband back to me........... My Names is Patrica Edward ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i meet a man called Dr Goodluck, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to the state my husband called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my husband's name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily back now and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: Drextrapowerghost@gmail.com

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  47. Viewers of this testimony should please stop by and rejoice with me.
    My name is Melisa Shawn from Usa, i never believe in love spell or magic powers because i believed all of them was scammers and fake until when i experienced heart brake with the father of my kids and i came across Prophet Ibu of divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com or divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com a great online spell caster who just helped me recently to rescue my lost relationship with my Husband who broke up with me for good three and a half years. When i contacted him, i told him everything that happened between me and my Husband and without demanding anything from me, he decided to perform a spell cast and after 24 hours surprisingly my Husband called me on my mobile and started speaking with me in a good manner and as i am sharing this testimony now we are back again into our relationship and i'm the happiest woman on earth for Prophet Ibu had done a great and wonderful thing in my life. Come and rejoice with me and if you wish to contact Prophet Ibu for any help i will drop his email ids(divinesolutioncenter@hotmail.com and divinesolutioncenter01@gmail.com) or you contact him through his personal website on
    http://divinesolutioncenter.webs.com/
    He is the best of our time...

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  48. Hello I am Lisa Jerry ,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to Priest Ohio the great messenger to the oracle of priest Ohio solution home,I narrated my problem to Priest Ohio about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in USA were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Priest Ohio on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his private website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com and get your problems solved like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: priestohiosolutionhome@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://priestohiosolutionhome.webs.com

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  49. HOW MY RELATIONSHIP WAS SAVED BY DR BRAVE

    Hello friends,my name is Jeffrey Dowling i live in USA Florida and i want to give thanks to the great Dr.Brave who helped me allot in getting back my love and also helped me in my financial problem.i was in relationship with ANTHONIA both of us lived together in love and in happiness, suddenly she just work up one morning telling me that she is sick and tired of me i was so shocked and confused cause i never did anything wrong to her still i had to plead to her because i love her so much, but she still insisted to breakup with me, i tried all i could to get her back but it was not possible, after she left i was some how financially down i did not know what happened to my finance, so i decided to contact some spell casters which happens to be scams, i was frustrated then decided not to contact any spell caster again, one day i was watching a show when i saw a woman named TINA was giving testimony on how this great man named DR.Brave helped her in getting back her lover within 24 hours so that was how i decided to give a try and i contacted DR.Brave and told him about how she left me and my finance,the only thing he said was that i my lover will come back to me and my finance will come up again, that he is going to do all within 24 hours, so just decided to watch and see. in the next 24 hours which he said i got a call from her and she was pleading to me that she is very sorry for what she did to me, the most surprising thing was that the job i applied for in a company for almost 4 months, they just called and told me that i should come and start the work that am capable of doing the job, i was so surprised a tears of joy rolled down from my eyes,i was very very happy and she just came to my house and she started pleading to me, so i accepted her apology and now we are living happily together now, and am working in the company now am happy again. all thanks to Dr.Brave for helping me and for making my dream to come through. for help and for appreciation you can contact Dr.Brave through : bravespellcaster@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS

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  50. who ever is reading this testimony today should please celebrate with me and my family because it all started like a joke to some people and others said it was impossible. my name is Michael i live in Chicago i am happily married with two kids and a lovely wife something terrible happen to my family along the line, i lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because i was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. i manage all through five years, no wife to support me to take care of the children and there come a faithful day that i will never forget in my life i met an old friend who i explain all my difficulties to, and he took me to a spell caster and and the name of the temple is called, DR Okundonor, i was assure that everything will be fine and my wife will come back to me after the wonderful work of Dr Okundonorgreatspell, my wife came back to me and today i am one of the richest man in my country. i advice you if you have any problem email him with this email: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com and you will have the best result. take things for granted and it will be take from you. i wish you all the best.

    Contact: dr.okundonorgreatspell@gmail.com

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  51. HOW DR LOVE SOLUTION HELP ME GET MY EX BACK
    I read some views about DR LOVE SOLUTION and I was very impressed about what DR LOVE SOLUTION has done to many peoples and touch so many life all over the world . I reach DR LOVE SOLUTION drlovespellcastersolution@gmail.com Tel: +2348038096203 for help because my wife and I separated for three months (she asked for it) apparently she's fallen out of love with me and we've grown apart and has given up on our marriage of nearly 14 years we've been together for nearly 22 years I feel that we can't give up on this marriage and am trying everything to resolve the matter by all means, I'went for counseling but my wife doesn't want to !! Not sure what else to do then i seek Help from DR LOVE SPELL CASTER SOLUTION drlovespellcastersolution@gmail.com to help me Restored my marriage problems and bring back my wife that separated from me 3 months because i love her so much and i still want to spend rest of my life with her, DR LOVE SPELL CASTER SOLUTION told me to relax and remain calm that my wife will come back to me between 48 hours after he cast a spell on her, thought it was a joke because i don't believe it will come to past that my 14 years of marriage will be Resolved by Dr Love because i have try every things to make my wife love me again . Saturday Morning Before 48 hours that Dr love said , someone was knocking at my Door when i went to the door i saw my Wife ,telling me she was very sorry for all her mistake and that i should forgive her for all her bad attitude towards me , i was very happy to hear that ,i forgive her and we are living together happily now, Thanks So much DR LOVE SPELL CASTER SOLUTION without you i wont have get my wife back to me .
    Laurence

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  52. My Name is SANTO WESTLEY..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called okutemple@hotmail.com Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing

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  53. My name is Andrey Bush, i am in the US army, one day, we went to Iraq, leaving my wife and two kids. I was away from home for ONE year, when I returned my wife told me she was no longer interested in the marriage that if she could survive for 1 year without me, the marriage is meaningless. Leaving home for ONE year was not easy but not having a family when i came back was more difficult. I pleaded continuously with her for 2 years even left the army just to convince her but all my attempt to get her back failed.
    On one faithful day, as I was about to sign a friend's guest book, I saw a post about a spell caster, at first I laughed but took the email address and phone number. After 2days something inside of me just asked me to contact him so i did and he cast a spell for me and he told me she was going to come back to me after 24 hours, to my surprise she called me even before the 24 hours elapsed and she said honey where are you, I'm outside the house, please come and open the door for me. I opened the door and she came in, immediately she fell down on her knees and apologized to me, she said she was wrong to have left me and said she wanted me back. This is a big miracle..... All thanks to Priest Okedie of priestokediesolutionhome@gmail.com, if not for him,I wonder the kind of life I would have lived.
    I want to use this medium to encourage other men and women out there, to contact this great spell caster, he is one of the greatest spell caster that ever exist. Priest Okedie have all kinds of spell and these include Love spell, Lucky spell,business spell,spell to stop divorce, Favor spell, curing spell e.t.c. This is his direct contact: priestokediesolutionhome@gmail.com

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  54. THANKS TO GREAT DR AISABU FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS HIS EMAIL IS (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)

    I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. So when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, I and my kids were so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back home because I love and cherish him so much so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this spell caster DR AISABU testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much I also think of give it a try. At first I was scared but when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called DR. AISABU and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR AISABU, I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR AISABU, and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. Once again his email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)

    HE IS SPECIALIZING IN THE FOLLOWING SPELL.

    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) If you always have bad dreams.
    (3) If you want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) If you want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) If you want to be rich.
    (7) If you want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
    (10) If you want to stop your divorce.
    (11) If you want to divorce your husband.
    (12) If you want your wishes to be granted.
    (13) Pregnancy spells to conceive baby
    (14) Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
    (15) Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart.
    (16) If you have any sickness like (H I V), (CANCER) or any sickness.
    (17) If you need prayers for deliverance for your child or yourself.
    Once again make sure you contact him if you have any problem he will help you. His email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) contact him immediately.

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  55. With due respect all thank goes to dr.ogala.i will like to share my testimony to you all.i just got married to my husband about 2 years ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my children and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken and in sorrow.i went online looking for help,then i saw a testimony about dr ogala,i was afrad because i have never done any thing like this before.so i gave it a try by contacting him. and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell that will make him come back to me forever. and also he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now. if you are there looking for help to get back your EX or any kind of problems dr.ogala is there to help you.if you have try all possible means to get your ex back and it failed,is time for you to put your trust in a holy spell dr.ogala will cast for you.contact email Holyspellcast@gmail.com His website http://holyspellcast.webs.com

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  56. With due respect all thank goes to dr.ogala.i will like to share my testimony to you all.i just got married to my husband about 2 years ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my children and i don't want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken and in sorrow.i went online looking for help,then i saw a testimony about dr ogala,i was afrad because i have never done any thing like this before.so i gave it a try by contacting him. and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell that will make him come back to me forever. and also he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now. if you are there looking for help to get back your EX or any kind of problems dr.ogala is there to help you.if you have try all possible means to get your ex back and it failed,is time for you to put your trust in a holy spell dr.ogala will cast for you.contact email Holyspellcast@gmail.com His website http://holyspellcast.webs.com

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  57. My love is back! After 6 years of marriage, my husband left me with my two kids. I felt like my life is about to end i was falling apart. a friend of my introduce me to this great man called Dr.ogala, I contacted him I explained my problem to him, he solve the problem peacefully In just 24 hours my husband come back home to show me and my kids so much love and apologize for all the pains he have cause to the family. thanks Dr. you solved my issues, and we are even happier more than before you are the best spell caster, i really appreciate the spell you casted for me to get my husband back in my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank very much Dr ogala.in-case you are in any problem you can contact him via email; Holyspellcast@gmail.com his website http://holyspellcast.webs.com

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  58. After being in relationship with emma for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by reffering him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

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