Welcome New Countries - February 12, 2011

We'd like to welcome the following countries that have joined our growing list of readers over the past week: Guyana, Hungary, Panama, New Zealand, Serbia!

Please check out The Story Behind The Upbeat Dad to find out what we're all about! Also, at the top of the page, look for the section: Check Out Our Most Popular Posts to see the stories that our readers like the most. Each Friday we do an Upbeat Dad of the Week feature where we highlight a father whose involvement has made his kids' lives better.

We encourage you to become engaged in our conversation by posting comments to the posts you read. Also, join us on Facebook page and follow us on Twitter.

You'll enjoy and share our excitement about fatherhood. Everybody's welcome - dads, moms, kids and anyone who believes strong, involved fathers help make strong kids.

The Upbeat Dad

A Successful Launch!

On Fridays we generally do our Upbeat Dad of the Week feature. Since all our energies and focus have been on our inaugural community forum, which we had last night, we will postpone our feature this week. And next Friday, we're doing a special post on the forum. The following week, on Friday, February 25, we will resume our Upbeat Dad of the Week feature.

The forum was a great success as we had a very good turnout and a wonderful program. I will share much more about the event on Sunday. For now we exhale after a great kickoff to the new phase of our organization.

Today’s post will be abbreviated. I’m just reflecting on the fact that we set out last October to do something meaningful for fathers, mothers and children around the world. With the success of the blog, we certainly have made a positive contribution through that medium.

Now that our first public event has come and gone, we’ve entered a new phase – one where we can touch lives in a more direct way. Seeing, meeting and interacting with persons face to face is an awesome experience and I look forward to many more events of this type. The possibilities are endless, believe me!

As I said, today’s post will be abbreviated as we exhale from the successful launch of our community forum. Be sure to read next Friday’s post where you’ll learn much more about the forum. For now, we reflect on all that took place yesterday and all that lies in store for us and for the lives that we have the privilege of touching through our work.

Thanks for tuning in. The best is yet to come!

Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

Tonight Our Upbeat Dad Community Forum is at Hand!

As we go into our inaugural Upbeat Dad Community Forum this evening, I reflect on the entire purpose behind this event. It’s all about being of service to our fellowmen in a more meaningful way than we have before. As I shared in the post Announcing the Upbeat Dad Community Forum, I liken the live events to the ground campaign in military combat.  The air campaign is good – it subdues the targeted area; but it’s in the ground campaign that the victory is won.

When we look at the crises regarding fatherhood that we highlight on our blog, we clearly see that our families are at stake; the future of our kids is at stake. With the blog, I believe that we have been quite effective in making an impact via the internet. And that will always be a staple of our vision. I love the fact that people can tune in 24/7/365 from anywhere in the world and read our posts. I believe that there is enough information available on the blog to make a lasting impact.

But when we can meet people face to face and hear their thoughts and share with them, that takes it to a whole new level. There’s nothing quite like it. I strongly believe and anticipate that something special will be birthed tonight through this forum. It’s not a one-time hit and then we go back to the norm; We plan to have them periodically. Initially, it will be local but before long, we’re taking the show on the road. And when we do, we hope to impact the lives of men, women and children from every class, color and creed.

I reflect on the risk I took 5 years ago when I left the security of my job in the accounting world to not only start an accounting firm of my own but also to become more involved in the social agenda that I’ve envisioned for years. I love meeting people and touching lives so I figured that operating as an entrepreneur would better allow me to manage my time in a way to meet the different demands of my pursuit.

You’ve probably heard it said that a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush. Well, I wrestled with the thought of leaving my “bird in the hand” for the “two in the bush” life. Aiming for the “two in the bush” is a risky proposition no doubt; nothing was guaranteed. But I also knew that if my vision were to come to pass, it’s a risk I would have to take.

I didn’t become an entrepreneur to become rich; I did it only to seek the freedom to fulfill my vision of making a difference in others’ lives. In the process of doing so, I do believe that great wealth will come into my hands but it’s not wealth so I can live the lifestyles of the rich and famous; it’s for the purpose of allowing me to have the resources to impact the world in a meaningful way.

I encourage you to join us as we take steps these next several weeks, months and years. It's our goal to build The Upbeat Dad into the type of organization that will be a beacon of hope for families all over the world.

So as we prepare to take this step, I pause and reflect on why we’re having this forum. I heard someone say, “When the ‘why’ is strong enough, the ‘how’ becomes clear.” My “why” can be best summarized with my poem, No Turning Back. I wrote it just before taking the leap into the entrepreneurial life. I call it Declaration of Independence – my tool of liberation to pursue this dream. Enjoy reading:

No Turning Back

Can’t do it any longer; I keep lying to myself.

The yearning and the hunger won’t go anywhere else.

It’s time to feed my passion; it’s time to take control;

it’s time to take some action before I get too old.

How can I serve humanity by sitting on the fence?

How can I give the best of me, living with this pretense?

I’ve got so much inside of me that I’ve got to let it out.

It’s time to give the rest of me, and that’s without a doubt.

No more procrastination; I won’t die in a cocoon.

And no more contemplation; I’ve got to do it soon.

Can’t live with all the sorrow; can’t see my dreams decay;

the fool lives for tomorrow; the wise man for today.

There’s a fire on the inside— one that I can’t contain—

that’s yearning for the outside, where it can have free reign

to lead me to my destiny; to where I long to be;

to burn for me eternally; to make my life complete.

With one look in the mirror, I know I’m on my way;

with each step I get nearer, so I must start today.

The world out there is waiting; it’s time to get on track—

this time, no hesitating; there is no turning back.

I hope that as you have read these words, you have contemplated your own life and its purpose. We’re only here on earth for a limited time so I believe that with everything within us, we ought to strive to make our lives count. I trust that the words of this poem will give you all the “whys” that you need to take the steps to make a difference.

Tonight is the night that’s been years in the making. Our community forum is at hand. This is what life is all about – making a difference in the lives of others.

Enjoy your day.

The Upbeat Dad

The Olympian and The Upbeat Dad!

As I reflect on the big day tomorrow – our inaugural Upbeat Dad Community Forum – I’ll just do this brief post today. I’ll share the words of my poem The Olympian. As you read it, think of the correlation between The Olympian and The Upbeat Dad.

Each has had the journey of a lifetime – going through challenges along the way. But still each is determined to reach the goal that lies ahead. The significance of reaching that goal cannot be understated because it is then that his lifelong vision and mission can come to fruition. One wants to become the Olympic champion. The other wants to impact the world with a positive message to revolutionize the lives of men, women and children.

Think of the significance of this moment as you read:

The Olympian

By Rodrick Walters

I've waited all my life for these next ten seconds.

Getting up early in the morning to train this body of mine.

Preparing it like a well-oiled machine. Denying myself

the pleasures of life - all for this moment.

This is my personal mission.

These beads of sweat dripping down my face

might as well be blood. Because I have given everything

for this moment. I don't even see the people

in the lanes next to me - all I see is that finish line.

I must be the first to reach it,

I refuse to be denied.

Ten seconds is all it will take.

And my life will never be the same.

As I stated, this will be a brief post as I now reflect on all that lies ahead. Tomorrow night will be significant – one of the most significant of my life. And it's all about empowering others in a meaningful way. This moment really makes life worth living!

Enjoy your day. We’ll speak soon.

The Upbeat Dad

Hope for the Hurting after a Broken Relationship

As we prepare for our Upbeat Dad Community Forum, I have had the privilege of interacting with so many people. Some have heard me on the BBC radio interview I had last week. Some have heard me on the radio here in South Florida. Others I have met at different local events. Just yesterday I was at a political event for a cousin of mine who was recently elected as a City Commissioner in a neighboring city.

It seems that as I talk about the forum and the vision of The Upbeat Dad organization, collectively, the phrase I hear from people is, “This is so needed.” And that’s so gratifying to hear. It has been a passion of mine to share this beautiful message about fatherhood. I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised that it has caught on so quickly. I do not know anyone else who does just what I do so I thought it would take some time for the word to get out. I strongly believed in the message from day one but in my view, I’d have to become established and then get the right contacts in order to get this organization to where I envision it going.

But let me tell you that I’ve been blown away by the response. Online, this blog has gone viral, in a sense. Over 12,000 hits, over 800 Twitter followers, over 300 Facebook fans – all in just 4 months? Wow! And it really has nothing to do with me – it’s all about the message. I’m simply a messenger who’s passionate about sharing these valuable life lessons and recommendations about the institution of fatherhood.

So I thank you for tuning in each day. And I especially thank you for sharing the different posts with those who you believe will benefit. I believe strongly that as we receive, we should also give; that’s what life is all about.

As I’ve spoken with both men and women about our organization, one thing has become so apparent to me – people are hurting. They may smile when you see them; they might look well put together but they’re hurting. Men are hurt and women are also hurt.

This brings to mind something that occurred several years ago just before my divorce in the early 2000s. I was in the US Virgin Islands conducting a seminar. I had just left Puerto Rico and was on a high after full-filling a dream of doing a seminar in a Spanish speaking country. The morning of the Virgin Islands event, I made a phone call home and without disclosing the nature of that discussion, I’ll just say that based on what was said, I knew that the end was near.

At 6 AM in a luxury hotel on a beautiful tropical island with my room overlooking the blue sea, I was crying my eyes out. I cried so much that my stomach hurt and my eyes became red. But guess what? I had to do a seminar that day. I was the only speaker. So despite my hurting heart and all that I was dealing with, the show had to go on. At 8 AM, there I was, in a suit with a smile on my face, registering the participants and smiling.

That was one of the most difficult days of my professional career. Yet, I did my presentation and shared good information. I injected humor and got some good laughs and all went great! When the seminar ended at 4 PM, I was so relieved. When everyone departed I went back to my room and had to deal with the reality of my situation.

In my book Poems of Inspiration: A Daily Dose of Self Motivation, there’s a poem that I consider an autobiographical work; it really summarizes my entire life in a very real way. The opening lines are:

Don’t be fooled by the smile that I wear

For each smile you see has cost me a tear.

I believe the same can be said for so many individuals who you and I meet on a daily basis. Maybe right now these words have struck a nerve inside of you because you’re one of those who masks your tears with a smile. Believe me, these emotions are real and I very much understand them.

Just yesterday I was speaking with a gentleman who will be attending the forum. I never met him before but we made an immediate connection. He shared with me the horrific experience he went through when he divorced 5 years ago. He has since remarried but it’s quite apparent to me that he’s still wounded.

I also spoke with a mom yesterday who says she just wishes her former husband could be dragged kicking and screaming to the event because there’s no way he would attend willingly. He was a good dad when he was married but since he divorced, according to her, he also decided to divorce the kids. And they feel rejected and alone. She wants him to know that despite the ending of the relationship, the kids are innocent so they still need the unconditional love and support of both parents.

I can attest to just how real these emotions are. Have you ever heard the expression, “It cuts like a knife?” Well that, it does, believe me.

In preparation for the forum, I have reached out to other professionals to hear their thoughts on different matters. Yesterday I met with a family therapist. He’s a gifted man and his specialty is divorce. He has authored books on the subject. I will do a separate blog post on him before long so I won’t share all his information just yet.

But as we talked about my journey and why I even got to the point of starting The Upbeat Dad, he told me of some statistics that are downright scary. Over 50% of first marriages fail. The parties from those failed marriages, as they remarry, within 8-10 years, 75% of those 2^nd marriages fail. And the parties of those 2^nd marriages that fail, when they remarry, 90% of them fail within 5 years. In other words, the more you remarry, the less likely your new marriage(s) will survive.

We have many walking wounded among us and many of us have no idea. If you are one of these individuals, fear not – there is hope. You are not alone. Because you’ve been hurt by a former relationship, that’s not a death sentence. Your life goes on and in time, you can find love again. In my posts The Story Behind the Upbeat Dad and The Story of My Blended Family, I share my personal story. Life is a beautiful thing – it really is. But it’s not without its bumps and bruises along the way.

When relationships are broken and kids are involved, it makes it so hard. Sometimes you have such anger and resentment towards your former spouse. Yet that person is the mother or father of your child(ren). It just doesn’t seem right, I know. But that’s reality.

If you’re in the South Florida area, please do come out to our community forum. I think that you’ll find encouragement in a supportive setting. Dads, moms, singles, divorced, everyone’s invited to this event. And that to me is a beautiful thing. People with varying life experiences will be present and it’s all for a good reason – to highlight the importance of fathers in the lives of children.

If you’re present at the event, do take the time to introduce yourself. Over 10 years ago when I just began speaking professionally, one of my mentors told me, “Always be the first to arrive and the last to leave.” I try to live up to that responsibility because people make major decisions based on information that you share with them. I want to be attentive to each individual because, to me, everyone’s thoughts and opinions matter.

I very much look forward to our forum. It’s the kickoff of the new phase of our organization – live public events. To me, that’s when the fun really begins. Stay engaged along the way. And hang on with us for this beautiful ride!

Enjoy your day today and every day.

The Upbeat Dad