Monday, October 11, 2010

Every Other Weekend

I hope you've had a restful weekend and that you're ready to take on the challenges of a new week!

About a year or two ago, on country music radio, I heard a song by Kenny Chesney and Reba McEntire called Every Other Weekend. It's the story of a divorced couple who meet every other weekend so that the children can visit their father. It kinda hit close to home for me as I recall the period that followed my divorce in the early 2000s.

Many of you dads had a great time with your kids this weekend. And then came Sunday evening - back to life, back reality. Because this was your "every other weekend." So you had to say good bye until the next "every other weekend."

Because we are men, some of us wouldn't even dare to share with anyone the pain that this time brings. We secretly cry ourselves to sleep dealing with this reality. I don't mind sharing with you that I once counted myself in this number in the aftermath of my divorce in the early 2000s. That was indeed a painful and very real chapter in my life.

When my daughter came to spend time with me, the time was so magical! Then came Sunday evening and Monday morning.  I cringed at the thought of things getting back to normal - life on a daily basis without getting to see her.

I'm fortunate now that I have a wonderful wife and two awesome children and we all live together. But I have not forgotten and will not forget that many parents - both moms and dads - go through emotional turmoil each weekend as this reality presents itself.

If you should find yourself in such a situation, I encourage you to hang in there. Time has a way of dealing with things. If you love your children unconditionally and you're committed to them, then any obstacle that anyone or any institution should put in your way can only be temporary. In time, the true love you have for your kids always wins.

I recognize that some of our circumstances may not be ideal. That's why I try to keep things in perspective. If all the time you have with your kids is "every other weekend," then make the most of it when it comes. Remember, an "Upbeat Dad" is "excited about fatherhood." So come what may, we should ensure that kids don't feel any less loved when the love between a couple fades.

Kids are a joy to have! So let them feel loved all the time - even if you only see them "every other weekend."

The Upbeat Dad

P.S. Check out ths book "Wednesday Evenings And Every Other Weekend" by F. Daniel McClure and Jerry B. Saffer. 


  1. Been there done that have the grey hairs to prove it. Life's a lot better now it's a good thing to encourage the people in the midst of their troubles.

  2. I am still there but I can say that things get better. I have them, as the title of the book, on Wednesday evenings and every other weekend. It used to really dig at me that my ex had an affair and yet I was the one not seeing the kids!

    After a while the ex and I started to work together and I get to spend more time with them and, as you say, it is vital that they know both parents love them unconditionally!

  3. Nothing is harder than not seeing your children on a regular basis, but you should always do your best to remain upbeat.

    A divorce, in itself, is more than capable of harming children and as a parent you need to do your utmost to minimise this damage - starting with a positive attitude.