tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post1200562698744266926..comments2023-10-07T19:38:18.589-04:00Comments on The Upbeat Dad!: What Women Should Know When Dating Single and Divorced DadsRodrick Waltershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14558455294120234819noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-32142801044372513882020-01-08T02:37:31.694-05:002020-01-08T02:37:31.694-05:00i was just browsing along and came upon your blog....i was just browsing along and came upon your blog. just wanted to say good blog and this article really helped me. <a href="https://stumblethis.net/" rel="nofollow">성인용품</a>rthwerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07634812053107920563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-85538506643092117532017-07-10T11:45:18.292-04:002017-07-10T11:45:18.292-04:00I seem to be grieving for too long. I've been ...I seem to be grieving for too long. I've been divorced for over a year and I had been the one who filed for it. The main reasons for the divorce were that I and my husband had been very loving, caring and sharing a lot of common things for almost 15 years. Whoever we met would comment how much we complement each other. My husband got a job outside of the country, where I also joined him with the children, but I was not working. He changed drastically and became intolerant and undermining me. I tried to hold on to the marriage until I realized I was beginning to believe what he was saying about me. Although I was not happy to leave him behind, he insisted that I leave and go look for a job in our country where he would join us later. Once I was in our original country I began to be very angry with the way he treated me when I was not working. We squabbled all the time over the telephone. By the time he rejoined us in our country, he had totally lost interest in me. All in all, I felt betrayed, abused and then discarded. While I have rebuilt my life and continue to do so, I realize that I miss our life and that the divorce has affected our children a lot. He stays with someone now, whereas I am unable to form a relationship. It is as if I do not want to be in a relationship anymore. But I feel lonely, depressed. Sometimes I wish I was already 60 yrs old so that I am closer to death. But after contacting Lord Afar at (ancientpowerfulspell@outlook.com) or his web site:<br />http://ancientpowerfulspell.webs.com at once my husband came back home and never leave again. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-32361265541962944972014-04-05T16:28:10.694-04:002014-04-05T16:28:10.694-04:00As long as their needs are met, kid’s moodiness an...As long as their needs are met, kid’s moodiness and ridiculous spoiled behaviors should NEVER come first. Parents like that are the reason why the American society is so messed up and people so entitled. If you find a great woman who you know has enough common sense to care about your kid and is WILLING to TAKE ON YOUR BAGGAGE and is a great person who you want to marry, you need to put her first or else don’t be surprised when she’s gone…there are PLENTY OF guys without kids out there who would die to date her, ya know???? Plus, if you were honest enough to include the fact that you have kids in your dating profile, nobody will be hurt. Funny how you all put your kids first but are too embarrassed to admit their existence on your dating profiles right off the bat. OK, the venting was helpful and this is not about all single parents but just the ones who deceive potential partners and lie about not having kids in their profiles. Us, as you call us selfish bitches, are hurting when it is time to go too. You trap us without saying how bad the situation will be and then we have to leave heartbroken when he face the undeniable truth that we deserve better!!! Be honest from the beginning or stay away. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-71347653579017407592014-01-03T04:30:06.850-05:002014-01-03T04:30:06.850-05:00Well said! Isn't marriage meaning planning to...Well said! Isn't marriage meaning planning to spend your life with your partner---- your partner is your No. 1 priority????? ( not the kids from a previous marriage!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-31652620749134997982013-11-13T06:09:12.737-05:002013-11-13T06:09:12.737-05:00I have a question - Just read your post. Have been...I have a question - Just read your post. Have been dating over a year now and the bond between us have been excellent, open, honest and mature.... Met his daughter (10) about 6 months ago, our bond too had become so unbelievably strong. Recently he started resenting me and saying he feels as if she enjoys me more and started excluding me from activities. It is her birthday this week, and I was crushed when i heard that he and his ex wife discussed getting her a bike. I do not feel part of this unit anymore and feel totally as an outsider. It would have been nice if we got her a gift together and build our unit instead, not? I am confused as to what is normal and what is not here. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-82763337944351087712013-09-27T10:17:00.116-04:002013-09-27T10:17:00.116-04:00Run from a man who will cheat on his wife. He wil...Run from a man who will cheat on his wife. He will cheat on you too. Don't waste your best years on this kind of man.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-47767091722079802562013-09-05T03:56:26.450-04:002013-09-05T03:56:26.450-04:00Hi there.
I would like to get some opinions on my...Hi there.<br /><br />I would like to get some opinions on my situation. <br /><br />I am dating a newly divorced guy with a 3 year old son. We are seeing each other for almost 2 years now, he divorced just recently (and left her wife more than 1/2 year ago). Yes, I am the main reason he got divorced. I will not go deeply in this situation, still it is not favorable to me, so.. :)<br /><br />1. He is still attached to his wife. She got a job only 3 week ago, so he was (still is) paying for everything for her (and his son, naturally). They agreed in the divorce papers that he will pay a loan for the house for one year (he gave the house to her), after that only alimony (and, of course, split other expences for the kid). But he gives her money, and a lot of money, that she spends not on the kid (even her hair, manicure, pedicure, etc.). He offered to give her money on her new sitting room decor. This is too much I think, no? <br />He texts her, calls her. She also. But when I am nor around. He says it's only about the kid, but I doubt it.. I do know, that she is in course of what he is doing, what is happening with him..<br />2. Naturally, he tries to be the best dad for his kid. He spends as much time as possible with him. But I am not included (he says, it is because he is not ready, and they agreed with his former wife, not to get son introduced to me). So, I am left out (with thoughts, that I am not important enough to him, that he is not planning future with me). I "get" some time leftovers only. <br />3. He says, that he wants to be with me, and he has feelings for me. It is obvious for me too. But he doesn't want to live with me, and is not introducing me to his life (family, kid also). And we are spending not enough time together. It would improve if we spend time with kid together, he wouldn't have to split his time.<br />4. We fight about those things a lot. That's bad, but I am a normal woman, I want normal relationship - I want to know a kid, to start living together, to know that I am the only woman, he take care of, that he contacts his former wife only when something very important is to talk, and rarely, etc.). I did say that to him a lot of times. <br />5. I have to mention that he visits his phychotherapist once a week. And he is getting better in his opinion (he is not that concerned that he takes something from his son, when he is with me; he stopped looking over his shoulder, when walking with me; etc.).<br /><br />What should I do? He says I should wait, and everything will fall to it's places. I am not a woman-rag... Should I clench my teeth and wait for this to happen? But I have waited so long, passed so many s*it. <br />Thanks. <br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-66834506379368425262013-07-23T10:40:58.413-04:002013-07-23T10:40:58.413-04:00Original poster here...thank you for the comments ...Original poster here...thank you for the comments that showed some understanding of my perspective. I just want to point out that my comments also hold true for my opinions of single moms...I don't believe in divorce. Usually there is a fundamental break-down of a marriage before the divorce, and while blame cannot always be attributed 50/50, I am sure 70% of women did not necessarily cause the break-down of their marriages. Regardless, at a certain point both partners agree to throw in the towel, and in my opinion, this shows a weakness in character that can be attributed to at least one of the partners. Good luck out there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-61131720648276691632013-07-20T02:26:33.927-04:002013-07-20T02:26:33.927-04:00I don't know - my parents, who are still toget...I don't know - my parents, who are still together, love each other so much, and my siblings and I are a product of that love, but we kids definitely did not come first growing up or now. I think divorced parents use the kids as excuses to stay in touch way too often. I think any women coming into this situation needs to be wary of the excuses divorced dads make in regards to the child. "But I'm being a good dad!" A good dad models a healthy relationship with his significant other by prioritizing it. I think the first poster directed her comments to women who have never been through a divorce and would never want that in their lives nor would they understand the dynamics surrounding that, understandably so. I don't think that is selfish at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-60782260760631447742013-07-18T05:26:30.446-04:002013-07-18T05:26:30.446-04:00I have beeing seeing my partner for 6 months now. ...I have beeing seeing my partner for 6 months now. He is divorced, with 2 children. I have no children and have never been married. His marriage was well and truly over before we met but it has been a very acrimonious divorce. I have not met the children yet. We thought it best to wait and make sure we are on solid ground together before adding them to the mix. We agreed that after 6 months the introduction between me and the kids would happen. <br /><br />He is a devoted Dad and I know how difficult it has been for the kids during the divorce. They are 9(girl) and 6(boy). <br />Does anyone have any suggestions of activites or environment for the first meeting? I dont want them to feel as if I am there to replace anyone, or that the day is all about me. I want them to feel like the day is all about them, and I am just someone they can have fun with while getting to know. <br /><br />Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-28440354825009813232013-07-11T04:32:01.193-04:002013-07-11T04:32:01.193-04:00Thank you for this. I think sometimes you meet som...Thank you for this. I think sometimes you meet someone wonderful and they have kids. An ex in the picture doesn't mean the new gf or wife is less important also doesn't mean a woman dating a single dad has low self esteem. I would love to hear your wife's account of dating a single dad and her advice and perspective. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-28395013179352145132013-07-08T13:57:26.863-04:002013-07-08T13:57:26.863-04:00Heh, strange to say, I think these two extreme vie...Heh, strange to say, I think these two extreme views of the situation are actually both valid.<br /><br />ABSOLUTELY, the woman will be burdened by a divorced dad's baggage. I don't think you'd find too many people who aspire to marrying a man who already made a vow to spend their life with someone else and have a human being to represent that love to boot (and yes, it matters that the man prioritizes that representation of that love). A good test would be to look at your daughters and ask yourself if that's what you'd want for her.<br /><br />No, women are not selfish for wanting to build a life with a man who is first and foremost their partner and not someone else's (believe me, the co-parent's decisions WILL partly define your own). A case could be made for the idea that women who are in a relationship with a divorced dad doesn't have the self-esteem to find someone better.<br /><br />That said, there is also something to be said about being embraced as part of a family, a far more difficult feat than building your own. Love comes in lots of ways (I know, cheesy...but still true!) sometimes that way involves a difficult path. Divorced dads can be a better partner in that they may have learned from their previous relationship and the fact that they are responsible enough to want to be part of their child's life is a sign of good character. For women who can't have children, the kid is a blessing. For the more independent women, these families can be ideal as they would have more freedom to do their own thing when he's off being a dad. Finally, if everything one hoped for in a marriage/family comes ready-out-of-the-package so to speak, it would be a mark of stubborness and inflexibility to be unable to accept it simply because it doesn't arrive in the way one wanted it to.<br /><br />I think what ultimately matters is that all parties involved know what they're going in for and that people are only people. Women need to understand what going into such a relationship entails and not throw fits when they're not prioritized. Men need to respect both the women who decide it's not for them and those who decide it is a good lifestyle for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-51593774984751662362013-07-02T20:09:21.633-04:002013-07-02T20:09:21.633-04:00Men who believe marriage is for keeps should RUN a...Men who believe marriage is for keeps should RUN away from women like Anonymous on 10/10. She's so selfish that she believes she should come before someone's child. She doesn't understand that children always come first. She refers to a responsible man's duties as "baggage" and seems to think life should always be "fun". She needs someone else to make her "feel special" and has such low self esteem that she can't bear ever being compared to another woman. Evidently she spends a lot of time comparing herself to other women and comes up short. And (if you can believe anyone could be so ignorant) she believes divorce is always the man's fault even though 70% of divorces are initiated by women. She doesn't think much of men, because she believes they all need a woman to "pick up the slack", although she apparently doesn't believe in doing anything for her spouse, since she focuses on "what she might expect" of her potential husband.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-4433628942406279642013-05-30T02:58:38.041-04:002013-05-30T02:58:38.041-04:00Hi Rodrick,
I loved reading this piece! Well writ...Hi Rodrick,<br />I loved reading this piece! Well written! :)<br /><br />Wilson Peter<br /><a href="http://www.cupidscronies.com/chicago-illinois-matchmaker/" rel="nofollow">matchmaker Chicago Illinois</a><br /><a href="http://www.cupidscronies.com/matchmaking-services/" rel="nofollow">matchmaker Chicago</a>Wilson Peterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05687991829546840486noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-34572363819588317622013-03-26T13:27:21.578-04:002013-03-26T13:27:21.578-04:00Thank you for the post - I will be mindful of thes...Thank you for the post - I will be mindful of these things while i'm hitting the town! :)tarahttp://www.splaws.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-85801834175709777022013-02-26T21:33:48.843-05:002013-02-26T21:33:48.843-05:00Divorced dads need to get in touch with each other...Divorced dads need to get in touch with each other, find a way to communicate with each other and help each other through some difficult days that you might be up against. Such as the ignorance and prejudice of people who don't want fathers to have help. Sometimes they act like gatekeepers, censoring information inappropriately.Parentinghttp://www.eparentz.com/happy-divorced-dad-the-begining/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-53046120976160501212013-02-19T21:55:32.652-05:002013-02-19T21:55:32.652-05:00I think the relationship may work if the woman is ...I think the relationship may work if the woman is understanding and is willing to compromise with the issues that will eventually develop. She should be very much in love with the man as well.<br />Overall, it would be ideal for a single father to date a single mother.Big Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13344831599564950588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-61029157653728312762013-01-07T12:19:46.346-05:002013-01-07T12:19:46.346-05:00Love at first sight quickly diminishes when an ex-...Love at first sight quickly diminishes when an ex-wife is hanging around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-73761273546559795602012-12-16T17:18:18.102-05:002012-12-16T17:18:18.102-05:00Do you believe in love at first sight. The best an...Do you believe in love at first sight. The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart.<br /><a href="http://lovetips43.weebly.com/" rel="nofollow">dating advice</a>lovetips8https://www.blogger.com/profile/17006222830596323244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-18967682769059620472012-12-03T04:27:50.115-05:002012-12-03T04:27:50.115-05:00Yeah marriages come and go...says it all really.Yeah marriages come and go...says it all really.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-58106925400160932862012-11-15T04:24:37.736-05:002012-11-15T04:24:37.736-05:00WOW! your reply totally smacks of stupidity. 1st o...WOW! your reply totally smacks of stupidity. 1st off.. who says the wife not the one who broke the relationship in the 1st place?<br /><br />Your very last line indicates that you cannot be rationed with. Going around blaming all single dads as the cause for the marriage breaking down in the 1st place means that you as the poster, should consider there are other reasons why couples split. Unless all your partners cheated on you? FYI - women cheat too... Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-27088834612120061732012-11-10T18:21:20.985-05:002012-11-10T18:21:20.985-05:00"Marriages come and go but kids are for keeps..."Marriages come and go but kids are for keeps." (Really? Don't the kids grow up and leave and make families of their own? Isn't the wife supposed to still be around? Wouldn't your kid want their mommy to still be in the picture??)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-56700896475142654742012-11-10T18:14:41.153-05:002012-11-10T18:14:41.153-05:00Women who believe marriage is for keeps should RUN...Women who believe marriage is for keeps should RUN away from men like this. A divorced dad will never value and honor their wife unless she bends over backwards adjusting to his life. Some women don't mind doing this - others take the view that a relationship should be reciprocal. She gives more to the relationship than he ever can! You heard it from the man himself - "You’re not their biological mother – you can never be"... "I had to learn to make someone feel special while having my primary focus on my daughter."...the fact is, if these men valued their second wives the wives would naturally feel special (it wouldn't be work.) These kind of men have too much baggage and take the fun out of dating. No woman wants to grow up, dream of her future husband, and - oh wait - that person has another wife hanging around in the picture. The romance screeches to a halt. Sorry boys, but blogs like this are frustrating because you are the guys who ruined your marriages, put your kids in hurtful environments by your irresponsibility...don't expect the new woman to pick up the slack. You should be asking what she might expect of *you* (she may know a thing or two more than you about how to make a relationship actually work.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9219803351075030577.post-57754791795495870532011-08-07T20:29:21.652-04:002011-08-07T20:29:21.652-04:00This has hit home for me. My boyfriend and I have ...This has hit home for me. My boyfriend and I have a 10 year age difference with me being the younger of the 2. He has 1 biological child from a previous marriage and one adopted son. It took me awhile to adjust to this life since I have never been married or have any children of my own. We have been together for a year and have had many family gatherings in which I was able to spend time with the children. This kind of relationship does work, although I thought it wouldn't. Honesty and communication has been the 2 key factors.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com